Girl to friend walking ahead of her: Wait for me! Don't leave me behind, you're so mean!
Friend: No, I am not.
Police officer, walking by: Yes, you are!
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Emm
Mystified/amused pot dealer, as two jocks jog past him after sunset: They just runnin'! No cops, no robbers, no cowboys, no Indians, nothing blowin' up. They just runnin'!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Dad to three-year-old boy learning to how to swing: Well, maybe if you were in better shape, this would be easy for you. You need to work on your abdominals.
–Rckefeller Park
Overheard by: Maria
White buff guy, during spin class: I need to do some serious laundry, so I only had the one clean towel. If ya can't get one, I can always just give you mine and do my usual air dry jumping jacks for the insane amount of fems they have in the locker room over there. But apparently I have a bad-case-of-gay-face, because they look at me like a fat kid in front of the tasty delight window.
–29th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Lace
Suit to another: I wish I could bench press the sins of the world!
–74th St & Broadway
Girl in short skirt and stilettos: Did we just power-strut too far?
–PATH
Suit: If Mark didn't fall asleep and get his photo taken with lemons on his head, he might still be here.
–Elevator, Midtown
Overheard by: It got even better when they elaborated
Sweater-clad hipster guy: I probably spend more per year on strawberries and cream than on my education. It's worth it, though. I value them more than my education.
–Starbucks, Brooklyn
Teenage girl: I don't want you to tell me there's a banana somewhere in there, I want to see the banana go in there!
–Church Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sonny
Girl to guy drinking juice: Eating mangoes makes vaginas taste better.
–Broadway & 9th St
Overheard by: Jessica
Irritated voice in choir loft, in the dark, at the end of Good Friday service: In all the excitement, I seem to have sat on my banana.
–60th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: haysoos
Man on cell: Did anybody give grandma her mango? You know that bitch flips shit if she don't get her mango!
–Central Park
Overheard by: queenofscots
Guy: Let's go watch the Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience!
Girl: Suck my dick.
–86th & 3rd
Girl: Where they weird?
Guy: I don't know. They were Australian.
–M14D Bus
Girl: What if I started saying “ahoy!” instead of “hello”?
Group of girls: Ahoy!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Pirate at Heart
Girl #1: I have a dirty, pathetic crush on Octavian. But really only when he's Octavian. Caesar Augustus, not as much.
Girl #2: I can definitely see that. He was pretty cute. And he was the emperor.
Girl #1: If I'd been around, I would have knifed that Livia bitch and totally tapped that ass. (pause) That imperial ass.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: I'll be your emperor
Girl #1: So he's like, “I saw your Facebook photos of you outside of your work uniform. You really like to party.” And I'm like, “Well, I'm 25 and single, what else do you think I like to do?”
Girl #2: Yeah, I mean really. But you know, it's assumed that if you're under 27, all you do is party and sleep around.
–Kew Gardens
Overheard by: CollegiateCutie
Guy, after lengthy technical explanation: Yeah, so SPF 10 is only twice as strong as SPF 5.
Girl: Now I get it.
–Elevator, 39th & 2nd
Overheard by: kerin
Girl #1: Say it! My boobs are juicy and delicious!
Girl #2: No!
Girl #1: Come on, say it! You know it's true!
–91st St & Madison
