Guy: Oh come on!
Girl: Don't “oh come on” me!
Guy: I'm usually good with that.
–44th St & Broadway
Guy: Oh come on!
Girl: Don't “oh come on” me!
Guy: I'm usually good with that.
–44th St & Broadway
Girl: So were they good-looking? Can you even tell if a guy is good-looking?
Guy (clueless, shrugging shoulders): I don't know! They were English!
–77th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
White girl to subway clerk: I just swiped my card and it is saying “insignificant fare”.
Subway clerk, smiling: It is saying that?
White girl: Is “insignificant” even a word?
–Clark Street
Old man with sign reading “sinners without faith are going to hell”: Do you know where you're going?
Hot girl: Yeah, old man…I'm going shopping.
–W 53rd St
Overheard by: Melissa Platt
Hipster guy: I don’t like him. He’s a douchebag.
Hipster girl: I said he was a nice guy. I didn’t say he wasn’t a douchebag.
–M1 bus
Overheard by: Kinda Nice Guy
Chick: Does she think that looks hot?
Friend: She’s ten.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jax
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing!
–Fordham
A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are.
–Varick Street
Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Slutty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I've been shitting blood for two days.
–Citi Field Stadium
Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: jax
Chick laughing hysterically on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Fresh Man
Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleeding from his eye sockets and shit. (pause) So you wanna meet up later?
–Willoughby & Vanderbilt
Chick to guys loudly singing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ : That song can’t turn you gay!
–Village Halloween Parade
Overheard by: That eavesdropper over there
Girl #1: Want to hear something horrible?
Girl #2: Sure, what?
Girl #1: This morning I went to get a Brazilian but the lady left some wax in my ass and it keeps chafing me…I’m in so much pain!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Craig B.
