Child whining in stroller: I’m hungry!
Mother: No, you’re not.
–Liberty & Broadway
Child whining in stroller: I’m hungry!
Mother: No, you’re not.
–Liberty & Broadway
Hipster to friends: Are you kidding me?! I wouldn’t fuck her with Tim’s* dick and Steve* pushing!
–Capone’s, Wiliamsburg
Hipster boy to hipster girl after hardhat made degrading comment: Why are there never any gay men ogling guys? It’s not that I’m gay, but an ogle or two wouldn’t hurt.
–Soho
Hipster chick: Yeah, glitter is, like, the herpes of arts and crafts.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: Ella
Hipster hoochie: … And then we found that guy who had a rock of crack, and we smoked it together!
–The Levy, Williamsburg
Overheard by: The Sock
Hipster selling doilies at stoop sale: I bought these when I was going through my doily phase.
–Williamsburg
Hipster dude: I never want to invite him, but he’d never actually show up, so it’s cool.
–St. Mark’s Pl
Man: Ohmigod! I hate people that are like “I have boy issues because my dad molested me.”
Woman: Ohmigod, I know! It's like people who are like “I can't go to the gym because I have my period.”
–Downtown 1 Train
Girl #1: So, sex has really been terrible lately, he just pounds me and I lie lifeless.
Girl #2: You think he even realizes you're there?
Girl #1: Who knows, it's just boring as hell.
–Morris & Washington
Girl to friend: You have to stop setting your brother on fire.
–Broadway
Overheard by: sandm
Student to professor: Urinating on fire? What the hell, Freud?
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Tool on cell: If burning leaves in the schoolyard is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!
–E 44th St & 2nd Ave
Blond woman: And that was the night I burned my eyebrows off!
–Union Square
Some guy: I spent all of last night searching my body for it, but I promise you if I find it, I’ll burn it.
–The Village
Older woman at art gallery, looking at the price list: That burns my ass. Sorry, but that burns my ass.
–57th St
Man handing out his CD: Scuze me, you like authentic Latino music? (woman flinches)
I ain't gonna bite you. Neither is the CD. Unless you're bitten with the sweet beat of salsa.
–2 Train
Older guy to younger date: So last night, right, I was a little drunker than I wanted to be and I was listening to those Beethoven and Mozart symphonies to, you know, really try to hear the difference between them…
–Uptown A Train
Woman walking out of a Chekhov play: Ugh! That was like taking a Tchaikovsky and playing it as if it were a Beeeeeethoven.
–Theatre District
Overheard by: Greer Feick
Happy older musician: I'm playing at the memorial concert for Ricky B*. Johnny T* was going to do it, but he died. I'm the go-to replacement when someone scheduled to play at a tribute concert dies.
–19th & 7th
Overheard by: tycho anomaly
Man on cell: Did you get the tickets? (pause) Eighty dollars to see a green bitch sing!?
–Chineese Restaurant, Columbus Ave
Girl: That’s funny, I thought you were a finance major.
Guy: I couldn’t stand it. It’s like… numbers and shit.
–6 train
Dude: It was just so scary to overhear people talking on their cell phones saying all those things you associate with disaster.
Chick: Yeah.
Male passerby on cell: The problem with so many women is just that they don’t have the right amount of support! I know more women who live miserably because they are wearing the wrong cup size! Just get measured!
–Central Park South
Guido #1: I fucking hate New Jersey.
Guido #2: I won't even take a piss in New Jersey.
Guido #1: I won't even say “New Jersey”!
–Shea Stadium
Little girl: I hate Jews!
Mom: What? Don’t you ever say that!
Little girl: What, Mom? I don’t like cheese!
–Uptown 104 bus
Overheard by: Barry P.
