Stringy-haired teen in waiting room: See? We got here an hour early and we're still sitting here.
Trashy mom: Shut up and watch Martha Stewart.
Stringy-haired teen: My stomach hurts. That chocolate I ate today upset my stomach.
Trashy mom: That's what you get for eating chocolate at eight am.
Stringy-haired teen: I woke up at six, ate some, then went back to bed. Then I woke up at eight and finished it.
Trashy mom: Shut up and watch Martha Stewart.
–Dentist Office, Brooklyn
Hobo: Everyone, please believe me, I had nothing, I tell you–nothing, to do with this rain!
–6 Train
Overheard by: thanks for that clearing that up
Black guy sitting on stoop to white guy standing the rain: I can't offer you a warm vagina but I can offer you a dry haven.
–1st Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: D Dot
Hobo to sky, as it begins to rain: You gotta do better than drizzling if you want to flood the Earth! We got murders and rapists down here! There are pedophiles and traffickers and thieves and liars and idolaters! I'm ready: I got the life goggles you sent me! (holds up scuba mask) Thank you for making me in your image, Lord. Amen.
–24th St b/w Broadway & 6th Ave
Overheard by: EmLo
Man, as it begins to rain: Goddamn rain, man! Only in New York!
–Park Place & Broadway
Overheard by: Bo Vanderpants
Woman on cell: Yeah, the weather is beautiful this morning. I'm strolling like a motherfucker.
–Lexington & 90th St
Furious hobo: I just got run over in your parking lot and I can't even get a beer!?
Woman: Sir, we don't even serve beer.
–Northern Blvd, Queens
Vally girl #1: I looove ellen Egenerous, she is soooooo funny.
Vally girl #2: Yeah!
Vally girl #1: I hate Dr Phil, he is soooo mean, but I looooove Opera, I mean love her. Why did she copyright her name? I mean, why?
–A Train
Overheard by: Chris DeLuca
Blonde: Look, that guy in the gray sweater is the only one working here.
Brunette: I know! It's terrible.
Blonde: I wish the government would come by and look at this, and see all these people waiting. We should call them.
Brunette: Do you think they care?
Blonde: No.
–Social Security Office, 2nd Ave
Ghetto girl #1: Like, at least he's honest about it.
Ghetto girl #2: Yeah, I know. Like I hate it when guys be fronting and saying they can get it up when they can't.
–City as School, Girls' Bathroom
Man to woman in bar: I have a hard time liking anything that quivers.
–1st Ave b/w 85th & 86th
Overheard by: Bunni
Dad: If you don't behave you're going to get a spanking. Are you going to behave?
Little girl: (no response)
Dad: If you don't behave, you're going to get a spanking. Are you going to behave?
Little girl: (no response)
Dad: Well, if you decide to act like this again, then we aren't taking you to Hawaii.
Little girl: That's fine… I don't want to go to Hawaii. I hate traveling with you.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Jbak
Small boy, after lengthy service: That was so long. Why did we have to wait so long?
Father: Well, it's all part of worshiping god.
Small boy: I hate god.
–St. Luke's Church, The Village
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl #1: I hate people who keep talking because they love the sound of their own voice! Like, unless you're gonna tell me about shoving a chicken up your vagina, I don't wanna hear it!
Girl #2: That's the second time we've talked about chicken girl and I still don't know her name.
–Crown Heights
Overheard by: chris k.
