New Yorkers: Where are the Cool Places?

Girl #1: Ohmigod. I never ever like come this far uptown.
Girl #2: Oh, I know! Never!
Girl #1: I never go above 14th street. Ever!
Girl #2: Oh, me neither. Ever! Well, maybe above 30th street.
Girl #1: Yeah, just for, like, Bungalow and stuff.

–Grand Central

Guy #1: The last two times I was at Crobar someone got raped in the bathroom. Isn’t that crazy? Two times. The last two times I was there.
Guy #2: Really? I don’t think I wanna go there.
Guy #1: No, it’s okay. Besides, they were girls. And the bar is nice.

–6 train

Overheard by: zztop

Posted on August 1, 2015
Drinking & Drunk People, Girlfriends, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Rape

Wednesday One-liners by Onan

Guy: Dude, have you ever tried to jack off twice in 20 minutes?

–Columbia University

Posted on August 1, 2015
Columbia (& Barnard), Guys, Masturbation, Students

You Just Need Some Deep Wednesday One-Linerin'

Blonde girl: I can't believe he pulled his dick out. Except not really. Except kind of. Except I kind of had to put it back in.

–W 34th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: innocent bystander

Crazy hobo, to himself: Geritol. Yup, that's what she needs. That woman just likes some dick. And there ain't nothin wrong with that. Nothin wrong with a woman likin a long hard dick. Women like dick. Ain't nothing wrong with that. She's gonna get some Geritol all right. Cause see, you got to get it up in the crevices. Work it in with a little Bengay.

–Men's Bathroom, Penn Station

Overheard by: Phil

Salvadoran guy, discussing use of the word "faggot": They can take a dick up their ass, they can take a fucking joke.

–Lawton St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Eric Frazier

Black guy: Man, I can't wear tight pants because I have a big dick! My dick needs to breathe! (holds himself)

–Penn Station

Female Central Park crossing guard: Das cuz da dick was great!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Robert H

Posted on July 31, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Black People, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, Clothing, Crazies, Girls, Guys, Height, Hobos, Insults, Latinos, Medicine, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Penis, Penn Station, Sex, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

Gaelic is the New Ebonics

Girl: He wears Timberlands.
Guy: Is he black?
Girl: No, He’s Irish.

–48th & 7th

Overheard by: Harmony

Posted on July 31, 2015
Fashion, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Race

Wednesday One-Liners (Sing Along If You Know the Words)

Crazy hobo (to the tune of Elvis’ Hound dog): Ain’t nothing but a hound dog! (mutters next two lines) And you never fuck a rabbit in the ass, cause that’s just a waste of time!

–E 4th St & 2nd Ave

Man, to the tune of Hit Me Baby One More Time: I need to pee out of my urethra.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Noelle

Guy in back of the bus wearing headphones and singing: (almost inaudible) I wanna die…I just wanna die.
(everyone stares at him)
Guy: (almost inaudible) I wanna die… I wanna dieeeeeeee.

–Bx 9 Bus, Fordham Plaza

Overheard by: Krisztina, sitting right in front of him

Homeless guy singing while shaking paper cup full of change: Oh me, oh my… There goes perfection. Oh me, oh my… Here comes an erection.

–13th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: rolf

Young Hispanic man singing to Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven: And there’s a wino down the road!

–E train

Overheard by: In_the_Shadows

Crazy hobo signing to two passing women: Vaaaggiiinnnaaa… Vaaagggiiiinnaaaa. (stretches out his neck towards them and emphasizes) Vaaaaggggiiiiinnnaaaaaa!

–Near NYU

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on July 31, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Crazies, Crazy, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Hobos, Latinos, Men, On the Bus, On the Subway, Pee, Penn Station, Sex, Singing, The Bronx, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Words

Army Recruiter: We’ve Got Your Dream Job

Male student #1: It’s not easy.
Male student #2: Nothing is easy. (pause) Some things are simple.
Male student #1: Oh, sure.
Male student #2: But nothing is easy. (pause) I have no idea where I’m going.

–NYU Campus

Overheard by: zelda

Posted on July 31, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Default, Fears, Guys, NYU, Students

…in Fried Chickpea Form.

Guy #1: Yo, come and get some falafel with me.
Guy #2: Waffles?
Guy #1: No man, falafel. Trust me, it's mad good.
Guy #2: What is it?
Guy #1: Shit, I can't even explain it. It's like… chicken and waffles.

–Mamoun's Restaurant

Posted on July 30, 2015
Ethnic Food, Food, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Words

And I Love You, Horns and All

Guy: I am really excited about our trip to Germany in the summer. We have to make sure to stop in Frankfurt to meet my family.
Girl: I am kind of nervous about meeting your grandfather since your mom said he was a Nazi and I am Jewish.
Guy: My grandfather is just a mild Nazi. He only believes in the conspiracy theories about Jews.
Girl: Well, I don’t care that your grandfather’s a Nazi. I love you.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Cannelle

Posted on July 30, 2015
Family Ties, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hitler/Nazis, Love, On the Subway, Relationships, Tourism, Travel, Wishes & desires

Dude, He’d Totally Rip You Open

Announcement: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. We should be moving momentarily…Please be patient.
Guy #1: They always fucking say that! We should be compensated for our time.
Guy #2: Yeah. They should have a coin dispenser that gives back quarters.
Guy #1: Fuck that. That robot voice should give us robot sex.

–6 train

Overheard by: Toneloca