Man, about actress Kristin Chenoweth: You know, she’s only 4 foot 11.
Wife: So that’s why she’s so short!
–Studio 54
Man, about actress Kristin Chenoweth: You know, she’s only 4 foot 11.
Wife: So that’s why she’s so short!
–Studio 54
Woman (reading Playbill before theater play: Oh, look Sharon*, someone's going to play one of the Marx brothers.
Friend: Which one?
Woman: Karl Marx.
–Lincoln Center
Tourist girl: Oh my god, did you see them? Did you see the lesbians?
Bored guy friend: Yes.
Tourist girl: That was so cool!
–1st & York
Overheard by: Not quite as excited
Ditz #1: Are you applying to any SUNYs?
Ditz #2: What? What’s that?
Ditz #1: A ‘State University of New York.’
Ditz #2: Oh, Michigan?
Ditz #1: No, no, no. What are your safety schools?
Ditz #2: Michigan?
–Death Cab for Cutie show, Madison Square Garden Theater
Overheard by: Jess Cohen
NYU guy #1: But wait, doesn’t Fidel Castro own the Dallas Mavericks?
NYU guy #2: No, no, you’re thinking of Mark Cuban.
NYU guy #1: Oh. What a coincidence.
NYU guy #2: Um, not really.
–Waverly Pl
Guy: You know it was just like…
Girl: Yeah…
–88th & 2nd
Dude: Do you think if I had a tail I’d be happy?
Girl: I’m just going to sit here quietly and ponder the ridiculousness of that statement.
Random guy: …Didn’t you steal that line from Arrested Development?
Girl: Yeah, so?
Random guy: Well, if you’re going to make fun of him for being an idiot, he should at least get to make fun of you for being a plagiarist.
–C train
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Black guy #1: How many credits are you taking this semester?
Black guy #2: 12.
Black guy #1: Why so few credits?
Black guy #2: What do you mean, why so few credits?
Black guy #1: Yeah, why so few credits?
Black guy #2: Tuition, nigga!
–B52 bus
Overheard by: Andrea Quijano
A kid is trying to get bubblegum off his face.
Kid #1: Yo, you know you can use an ice cube to get that off.
Kid #2: Where the fuck am I supposed to get an ice cube now? Besides, how’s that gonna help?
Kid #1: Dumbass. When the gum is cold it’s not sticky anymore. Haven’t you ever chewed gum in the shower?
–Uptown 6 train
Overheard by: Bert
Slacker #1: You know that ships used to come up the river and dock in the West Village?
Slacker #2: Really, man?
Slacker #1: Yeah, really. They used to let the sailors out there…yeah, that’s where the term “Hey Sailor” came from.
–Prince Street laundromat
Japanese girl: If this is New York, where are Old York?
Japanese Dad: I think that is in England.
–59th & 6th
Overheard by: Svein Brunstad
