Thug, talking about fanny pack: What is that? Your change purse?
Thugette: Nigga, that's my insulin!
–1 Train
Thug, talking about fanny pack: What is that? Your change purse?
Thugette: Nigga, that's my insulin!
–1 Train
Teen boy #1: So why did your dad lose his job?
Teen boy #2: All I know is that he had hepatitis for six months and cured it by eating nothing but fruit.
–83rd & 16th, Brooklyn.
Overheard by: Porko Rico
Girl #1: So I think I may have MS.
Girl #2: You are banned from WebMD! Banned I say!
–Green Kitchen, 76th St
Girl #1: I don’t feel well.
Girl #2: You look fine.
Girl #1: I think I have malaria.
Girl #2: I really don’t think you do.
Girl #1: Do people get malaria in Nicaragua?
Girl #2: I don’t know, I don’t care, and furthermore, we were in Brazil.
–JFK
White teenage boy to black teenage boy: She thinks I am a rapist or something.
(black teenage boy giggles) Which I am cool with, you know what I mean?
–Bay Ridge Ave & 4th Ave
Brunette Guido girl: Ohmigosh, you would love this girl, she's like, the only cool blonde person. This one time she was just like "Dude, can we just do the peace-and-love thing? Cause, I don't know how to fight."
–LIRR
Overheard by: whaaasgood
Fashion intern: I had swine flu last year, before it was cool.
–Cafeteria, Hearst Tower
Overheard by: interns are our future
Bike rider on phone, walking with girlfriend: I don't have his number, but you can call Tom* and go down there. Those guys are pretty cool. You can just go down there and give them a prostate massage.
–Riverside Park
Boy teen geek: You know when you push out too much shit you get hemorrhoids?
Girl teen geek: Yeah.
Boy teen geek: Well, that's what he did, pushed out too much shit and got nothing but hemorrhoids!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Blue
Man on street corner to overweight teen girl: Ooh, I like them healthy girls!
Overweight teen girl: I'm not healthy! I'm at high risk for diabetes!
–147th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Innocent By-stander
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party.
–BBQ, UWS
Blonde on cell: So it was either an ambulance or a taqueria.
–Times Square
Girl on cell: What? What!? Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital! Please. Why? Because when you get stabbed you go to the hospital, you don’t go and lay down.
–Jersey Transit
Thug, in a rush: Look, I don’t give a fuck! I just want Medicaid!
–13th & 3rd
Disgruntled male gynecologist: We’re the bastard stepchildren of the surgery world. General surgeons barely think we’re human. "Oh, don’t get up, it’s just a gynecologist." I could have been a general surgeon, a plastic surgeon, a dentist, a lawyer… I’d be making more money, too. My brother’s cat needed a caesarian section and the vet got paid more than I get paid to do a caesarian section!
–Gynecology Office, 32nd & Madison
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl on cell: I told you I was sick and needed to go to the doctor’s! I can’t even swallow! I tried food, water and liquids!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ross
Chick in scrubs (lighting cigarette) to friend in scrubs: My heart rate won’t go down!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: McFreaky
Guy #1: You’re useless…you keep getting dysentery.
Guy #2: Maybe you’re just a lousy trail leader.
Girl: At least he doesn’t drown every time we cross a river.
Guy #1: Hey, you caulk the wagon, you take some chances.
–79th Street 1 station
