Woman #1: Why aren’t they getting married in the Church?
Woman #2: Well, they did the pre-Cana, but she had Irritable Bowel Syndrome…
–45th & 6th
Overheard by: Nick Draven
Woman #1: Why aren’t they getting married in the Church?
Woman #2: Well, they did the pre-Cana, but she had Irritable Bowel Syndrome…
–45th & 6th
Overheard by: Nick Draven
Old white veteran: Why can’t I walk? Did I have a stroke?
Black lady aide: You can walk.
Old veteran: Then who’s that wheelchair belong to?
Black lady aide: You can walk, but you can’t walk far.
–VA Center, St. Albans, Queens
Overheard by: Eddie Blanco
Editor: So she went to this party in San Diego and got slipped a roofie. The guy couldn’t even get her home. She had to be taken straight to the hospital. It’s one of those things that you feel terrible for her, but also find awfully titillating.
Art Director: Wow. Crossing the line…
Editor: Hey, I will not keep secrets from myself or you!
–Midtown office
Nutty Old Bat: 90 bucks for my pills? I don’t have that kind of money with me. You’re going to have to do better than that.
Pharmacist: I’m sorry ma’am, that’s the price and we need your prescription.
Nutty Old Bat: I don’t have my prescription. I’m coming from the emergency room! How much for a pill? I need it. I haven’t had a pill since this morning.
Pharamacist: I can’t get you one pill. I need your prescription. Just get one and come back tomorrow.
Nutty Old Bat: You’re going to have to do better than that.
Pharmacist: I’m sorry ma’am. I can’t help you.
Nutty Old Bat: You’re going to have to do better than that!
Pharmacist: Have a good day ma’am.
Nutty Old Bat: Unbelievable! She doesn’t want to do better than that!
–Bryant Park Duane Reade
Overheard by: Felson Sajonas
20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
Dude: Yeah, I think I have this disease where I can’t remember people’s names.
Chick: You mean AIDS?
–The Big Easy, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Theresa
Girl: The guy in this photo has gigantism. It’s a condition where you don’t stop growing–
Guy: That rocks.
Girl: –but you die really young.
Guy: Oh wait, it doesn’t.
–Diane Arbus exhibit, The Met
Overheard by: Eviltom
20-something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson's "Rock with You" plays on the radio: Did you hear he's sick? Apparently, he's in the hospital. I know, it's crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that'll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!
–Pet Food Store
Overheard by: Nathalie
Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?
–8th & Broadway
Man, lighting cigarette: So what'd he die from? A sunburn?
–Chambers St. & West Broadway
Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.
–MacDougal & 8th St
Nine-year-old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.
–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown
Overheard by: Lauren T.
Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can't be, they're white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.
–Delancey & Essex
College girl #1: I don't want a flesh-eating disease.
College girl #2: Me either.
College girl #3: Yeah, me either.
College girl #1: Wow, we have so much in common! No wonder we're friends.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
20-something guy to five-year-old boy: No, Wolverine and Barack Obama are not the same person.
–Hudson Park Soccer Pitch
Overheard by: Kelli Jo
Swag guy: Get your Obama condoms, put it on when times get hard.
–7th Ave & 47th St
Overheard by: Oh no he didn't….
Hobo on train: Look at these two girls! If we get married we can make another Obama!
–4 Train
Cute boy: Captain Kirk is the Bush to Picard's Obama.
–Kent Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Trekkie
Diner to companion: Since Obama's been President, North Korea has fired like two missiles. They're testing his foreign policy, uh, you know, they're testing his gallstones.
–Teddy's Restaurant, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ken Yapelli
Sock street vendor to passersby: Socks! One dollar, one dollar! One dollar!
(nobody pays attention) Socks! One dollar! Obama! One dollar! Obama! (a few pedestrians stop to browse through his socks)
–New Chinatown, Flushing, Queens
