Mohawk teen: Not like a Barbie — it’s like a real short midget, but skinny and hairier.
Five-year-old girl: Like G.I. Joe?
Mohawk teen: G.I. Joe isn’t hairy, he’s just a man-Barbie with guns.
–18th St station
Overheard by: tom
Mohawk teen: Not like a Barbie — it’s like a real short midget, but skinny and hairier.
Five-year-old girl: Like G.I. Joe?
Mohawk teen: G.I. Joe isn’t hairy, he’s just a man-Barbie with guns.
–18th St station
Overheard by: tom
Little boy stabbing balloon man with a balloon sword: Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Balloon man: Goodbye! Be good, everyone!
Little boy, still stabbing: Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Rick Felice
Headline by: Matthew
Runners-Up:
· “And if that doesn’t do it, I challenge you to water pistols at dawn!” – Cynthia
· “Except you, kid. You go fuck yourself.” – ImmaculatePizza
· “He Who Lives By The Balloon…” – Hobo Whisperer
· “You too, Brutus.” – Aeirlys
Kid #1, after playing hide-and-seek: So where were you?
Kid #2: I hid in the bush.
Kid #3, yelling and throwing hands in the air in disgust: No! You weren't hiding in the bush, you were hiding in the shrubs. Doesn't anybody know the difference between bushes and shrubs?!
–Central Park
20-something women in yoga gear, simultaneously: It was like a blessing in cake form.
–Astor Place
Girl: I'm too single to eat a brownie.
–NYU Library
Guy on cell: Soft Serve is so good, you will step in dog poop and not even care!
–14th St b/w 7th & 8th
Serious guy on his way out of restaurant, to girl: So all we need are aspirin and Skittles.
–Angelo's Pizza
Assertive little boy in shopping cart seat, grabbing mom's face: I want to buy a chocolate croissant and eat it. Do you understand what I'm saying?
–Food Coop, Park Slope
Overheard by: Jenny
Young daughter: Daddy, daddy! What's that?
Father: Umm…that's just grass, sweetie.
Young daughter: It's pretty!
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.
–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St
Overheard by: HookahFanatic
Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu
Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.
–Outside the Federal Reserve
20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.
–Broadway & 39th St
Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.
–116th St & 8th
Overheard by: Matt & Stacy
Asian schoolgirl to friend: So he says "you're a racist," and I'm like, "I can't be a racist, I'm a race!"
–Ridgewood, Queens
Overheard by: Squidocto
Fair-skinned Italian Long Island woman: So they both took a paper bag test, and passed.
–Barnes & Noble Cafe
Overheard by: a.j.w.
Yuppie Indian woman: In *my* culture, I'm not black.
–Flatbush Ave
Overheard by: mojbe
Ridiculously loud girl employee: Bobby! What's your ethnicity?
–NYU
Overheard by: …not the only shocked observer
Eight-year old black kid to 20-something babysitter, about younger brother: He likes black girls, but I like white girls!
–Outside Delancey Station
Raucous blond toddler, shouting: I want pickles!
Harried young mother, shouting back even louder: We have pickles at home! I will give you pickles!
–Broadway & Bleecker
Tourist mom with mullet, trying to take a picture of cute five-year old boy: Stand by the testicles, honey. Stand by the balls!
–Wall Street Bull
Overheard by: oh tourists
Suit to street vendor: You spend the money and get blue balls…
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Colin
Guy on cell: Fucking shit! What the fuck? This fucking shit is fucking messed up! (pause) Whatever, mommy… just get me a large, it'll give me more room for my balls.
–97th St & Madison Ave
Big guy in chair on sidewalk to friend: So, I ate a pair of balls last night. Lamb balls. Hot and spicy.
–Heath St & 231st St
Overheard by: Km
Ghetto man to Dunkin' Donuts cashier: Yo, how much is da balls?
–W 148th & Broadway
Little girl: Will I have big mountain nungas like you someday?
Big sister: Only hillocks, I fear.
–58th & 6th
Overheard by: EAK
