Art student to friend: Did you know that our shit would be white if we didn’t have bile to mix with it?
Black security guard, raising fist: Black power!
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: dobby
Art student to friend: Did you know that our shit would be white if we didn’t have bile to mix with it?
Black security guard, raising fist: Black power!
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: dobby
Girl #1: Yeah, so she was telling me all about the cleanser, right? And she said it was professional clown approved. What’s up with that? Who buys stuff because it’s been approved by some dumb clown?
Girl #2: I don’t know about buying anything clown approved, but for damn sure I’m not going to buy something that’s not professional clown approved.
–Sephora, 5th Ave
Overheard by: VA
Chick #1: Hey, what are you doing?
Chick #2, sparying floor with disinfectant: Well, I heard on Tyra that you can get STDs from just walking on the same floor as someone else.
Chick #1: You did? Well, it must be true! Why didn’t you tell me?!
–1250 Broadway
Drunk woman: I won’t sleep with people when I’m drunk. I’m not like that. I get drunk and I punch people in the face… I’m totally against infidelity. I can’t deal with that. I mean, I’ve been caught cheating lots of times, and it totally sucks.
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Caitlin
Guy: So, he’s pissed off because he’s dating this fucking hot stripper — she’s, like, West of freaky — and he can’t tell anybody because they’re all friends with his fiancé and would tell her.
–Brooklyn-bound D train, Atlantic Ave stop
Overheard by: just visiting
Girl on cell: Sorry, I’m on my way to the airport. It was either go to Michigan or cheat on my boyfriend… No, I’m going to Michigan.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: Cat Darcy
German girl, after breaking kiss with another chick: Don’t worry about my husband too much…
–Frost St, Greenpoint
Overheard by: jayloo
Black man on cell: … So I put my hand between her legs… Nah, she wasn’t wearing any panties… She’s mad cool, but she’s married…
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Izabela
Ghetto mama: … And I said to her, ‘No, I did not fuck yo’ husband. But I did let him eat my pussy!’
–Nostrand Ave
Overheard by: Kris S.
White chick: Susan, stop pinching my ass!
Asian girl: I’m not doing anything!
White chick: Well, then who’s doing it?! [Sees hobo culprit behind them.] Oh my god, a bum is pinching my ass!
Asian girl: Should we do something?!
–Broadway
Girl yelling to friend across street: Hey, guess what? I smelled it! I smelled it from here!
–Fordham University
Blonde on cell: So, I just took my hair down, and all I smelled was Dove and crack.
–JFK
Overheard by: spanky
Man to no one: It smells like my ex-wife in here!
–Highline Ballroom
Hootchie on cell: No joke — it smelled ripe down there. I be all, ‘Jimmy… D-A-M-N! I’m too busy gagging from the smell to gag on your bits.’
–W Broadway
Girl crying on cell to boyfriend: How could you fuck her?! Her pussy stinks!
–Union Square
Overheard by: SplendidConfusion
Thug on cell: Yo, I’m sure she smells better now, bro!
–Harlem Meer, Central Park
Overheard by: mj
Overdressed ticket agent: So, Losing Louie got awful reviews, but if we’ve learned nothing else, it’s to never see a show about a funeral the day after a funeral.
Appropriately dressed ticket agent: Yeah, that must be rough… Like that time I saw Wicked right after my friend melted.
–915 Broadway
Tourist spawn #1: Oooh! Mommy, look at that! An eyeball cushion! Can we go in?
Tourist spawn #2: Yeah! Mommy, can we go in?
Tourist mother: No! Any time there is a bunch of strange stuff in a store, you know it is expensive.
–292 Lafayette St
Clerk: Ma’am, you did not order an onion bagel.
Biotech: Yes, I did. You’re wrong.
Clerk: Let me read back your order. [Does so.]Biotech: Look, I said you’re wrong. You’re wrong and you’re ugly!
–875 3rd Ave
