Man to girls in Armani store holding H&M bags: You like this stuff, girls?
Girls: Yes! It's fantastic.
Man: Well, stay in school, or you'll be shopping at H&M forever.
–Manhattan
Man to girls in Armani store holding H&M bags: You like this stuff, girls?
Girls: Yes! It's fantastic.
Man: Well, stay in school, or you'll be shopping at H&M forever.
–Manhattan
Guy, rushing into room: Guys, come here. I need a witness in the bathroom right now.
–Times Square
Screaming Latino stepping into urinal: Ah! Ah! Ah! Sorry y'all, I just got dem crabs, so it hurts when it comes out.
–South Ferry
Voice from cubicle emitting diarrhea sounds the day after Yom Kippur: Ugh, Jewish holidays.
–Broadway
Woman coming out of bathroom: I just heard the woman in the stall next to me say, "I love my ample taint."
–Astoria
Overheard by: Alison R
Guy: Yeah, I'm reading that in the Playbill.
Bimbo: Ew! You brought a porno magazine to a Broadway show?
Guy: No, no, no… Playbill. Not Playboy. It's a Broadway magazine.
Bimbo: Oh. (pauses) So wait, it's gay porno?
–8th Ave
Drunk man, with fist in air: This is Sparta!
Young boy: I thought it was New York City…
–5th Ave
Brunette meeting up with friend: Hey. You know your outfit is hideous?
Blonde: Yeah, I know.
–Manhattan
Guy #1, getting out of shower: Oh! Great news. I learned how to swallow!
Guy #2: That's fantastic!
–Locker Room, David Barton Gym
Overheard by: Baby steps
Black dude: Hey, I like your tie!
White kid: Thanks.
Black dude: Cause it's black, like my cock!
–21st St
Chinese DVD lady: You want DVD? Spiderman, Pirates? All good new movies, you want?
People at table: No, thanks.
Tranny at next table (loudly): Yo mama you got any pornos in there? Hmm, I want something with dick in it, big dicks. You got anything?
–37th Ave Subway, After Gay Parade
Overheard by: Empty Refrigerator
Cute queer to hot Asian friend: I would rather have you drive drunk and stay at a friend's place in Manhattan then take a cab back to Jersey.
–Manhattan
Professor: For Muslims, the afterlife is more real to them than it is to me or you. For them, dying is like…going to New Jersey. Beautiful New Jersey.
–Stern Building, NYU
Overheard by: Emily
Trashy girl (knocking on door of a convenience store that just closed): Yo, let me in! I just want to buy a Heineken before I go back to New Jersey!
–W 108th & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: MR
Construction worker to people exiting PATH station: You're from Jersey! You should be happy!
–Vesey St & Church St
20-something on cell: I'm at Penn station and there are so many guidos and guidettes on their way back to Jersey. Watching them is like watching babies stuck in a McDonald's ball pit.
–Penn Station
NJ Transit worker: You'd be surprised how many honest people there are in New Jersey.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Jersey Girl
Conductor: This is a Jersey bound Q train. Oh shiiiiit.
–Brooklyn Bound Q Train
Overheard by: office peon
