Young boy, pointing out the subway window at the Gowanus Canal: Look, mom, a lake!
Mom: That ain't no lake! That's where the dookie comes out!
–F Train
Overheard by: jenmarie
Young boy, pointing out the subway window at the Gowanus Canal: Look, mom, a lake!
Mom: That ain't no lake! That's where the dookie comes out!
–F Train
Overheard by: jenmarie
Weary mom with two kids: I'm afraid today is almost too much for mommy.
Toddler: Why?
Weary mom: Because we have to get Sylvia (motions to stroller) home before she falls asleep, and we're pushing our luck.
Toddler: We can do it.
Weary mom, sighing: I admire your spirit.
Toddler: What's “spirit”?
Weary mom: It means your attitude. Your confidence.
Toddler, with renewed energy: We can do it!
–Railway Station Platform
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Stroller mom admonishing toddler: Connor! Connor, stop that now. Connor, I'm going to count to three…in French. Un, deux, trois.
–Broadway & 93rd St
Father, teaching five-year-old son to urinate in the street: Okay, son, now you've gotta shake it.
–Fordham Road
Mom to seven-year-old daughter, on Yom Kippur: Only you could complicate a bagel purchase.
–Absolute Bagels, 108th & Broadway
Yuppie mommy to naughty child: Stop it! Stop acting up! Look, this is the reason people don't have kids.
–Starbucks
Woman to young sons: You see that boy in that other train over there? I'm gonna give him your present if you don't be quiet.
–6 Train
Father to three rowdy children: You guys are gonna need to calm down, this is gonna be a two hour ride and there is no bar car on this train. Which is unfair to daddies with 3 kids.
–Grand Central
Girl to guy: And then he cheated on me with his male and female cousin.
–9th & 21st, Chelsea
Guy on phone: You should tell him next time he should keep his dick in his sister.
–72nd & Central Park West
Guido, getting his hair cut, in a thick Staten Island accent: Show me where it says in the Holy Bible that you can't bang your stepsister.
–Staten Island Barber Shop
Overheard by: Snewsboy
Dude on cell: Bitch, I don't care how much you give me, your ass just ain't worth it. (pause) Plus, I can just get it for free from my sister.
–Coffee Shop, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: really hope he didn't mean what i thought…
Girl to mother, after game: I'd rather go down on my sister than take the d train to Times Square right now.
–Old Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: datura0001
Three-year-old distraught child: Mommy, mommy, she thought I was five years old.
Grandmother: Do you know why? Because she thought you were a big boy!
Mother: When you're five, you're going to stop sucking your… (waits for a response)
Three-year-old, face now lit up: My penis!
–79th & 5th
Regular mom: What's your son's name?
Wealthy Tribeca mom: E-berry.
Regular mom: Excuse me?
Wealthy Tribeca mom: E-berry. We wanted our son to be unique.
Regular mom, grabbing son and leaving: Come on, Thomas.
–Washington Market Park
Overheard by: laughing nanny
Little boy, collapsing onto mother's lap: I am so hungover.
Mother: What?! No you're not! (to anyone within earshot) No, he's not.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Darcie
Tourist mom, pointing to Equus sign: Oh, eek-quass. Look, and it's with your favorite, Harry Potter.
11-year-old daughter: Uh huh.
Mom: Oh! And he has no shirt on! Look, honey!
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Slightly uncomfortable, queezy male
Mother: We're getting off now if you can't behave.
Boy (screaming uncontrollably at other boy): I want Jessie! I want Jessie! I want Jessie! Jesssssssssie!
–M79 Bus
Overheard by: whothehellisjessie
Girl on phone: Yeah, I'm here. But I think I passed through the ghetto on the way. Yeah, it was definitely the ghetto. How do I know? It was really obvious: because I saw a sizzler and all the buildings looked the same!
–Penn Station
20-something girl, watching street protest: They better not have closed Popeyes for this.
–M Bus
Overheard by: BHM
Tiny white girl: I just want to go into Applebee's and punch everyone in the face.
–Times Square
Overheard by: that would pass the time…
Girl on cell: Look mom, there's a Jamba Juice. That place is like famous.
–Herald Square
Slob tourist chick to fat husband: I hate my life! Ooooh, Olive Garden!
–Times Square
Overheard by: BarcLeh
