High school girl #1: Did you see Juno?
High school girl #2: Oh my god! I loved it! Especially that song they sang!
High school girl #1: I know! I always try to get my boyfriend to sing like that with me, but he just tells me to get on my knees.
–79th & Lex
Girl #1: So I saw Juno the other day, it was really funny.
Girl #2: Yeah, the girl from that movie Hard Candy is in that where she like tortures a pedophile.
Girl #1: Oh yeah! That movie rocked my socks off. Man I would give anything to kick a pedophile in the neck.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 5th
20-something guy: His beard makes him look like Chuck Norris.
20-something girl: Who?
Bartender: Chuck Norris. He was Walker, Texas Ranger.
20-something guy: You don't know who Chuck Norris is?
20-something girl: I feel like we always talk about Chuck Norris and I have no idea who he is.
–3rd St & Berry, Williamsburg
Overheard by:
Woman #1: Guess who I sat next to at dinner last night?
Woman #2: I have no clue. Jimmy Fallon?
Woman #1: No. Denzel Washington!
Woman #2: Omigod!
Woman #1: I know, I love him!
Woman #2: I loved him as God in Bruce Almighty. That was him, wasn’t it?
Woman #1: No, that was Morgan Freeman, you dumb fuck.
–45th Street 7th & 8th
Boyfriend: I used to really love South Pacific.
Girlfriend: Of course you did.
Boyfriend: I think I used to be gay when I was little.
–Manhattan-bound N train
Black woman: Sixteen dollars? That paper better be made out of Jesus's ass.
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Emily B.
40-something to friends: And what's going on with the fucking baby Jesus over there?
–Starbucks
Guy on cell: In my class, we were talking about how Jesus was a Viking warrior.
–Queens College
Woman, about Matt Lauer and Katie Couric: See, this is why Jesus Christ and the Pharisees didn't get along.
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rachel Peters
Woman on phone on the night before Easter: No, I do not want you at my house right now. (pause) I'm going home to watch The Ten Commandments and read my bible–Jesus is coming back tomorrow!
–B44 Bus
Overheard by: Micah
Drunk high school girl: If Jesus had discovered a cure for dry mouth, he'd be a lot more popular!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Smudge
White chick #1: Whatever happened to Jerry Springer?
White chick #2: Yeah, remember when he was like, it? You’d see him everywhere.
White chick #1: Yeah, he made that movie and all.
White chick #2: I heard he’s running for Mayor of Ohio.
White chick #1: Get out!
–Greenwich & North Moore
Girl: Mom, are you drunk?
Mom: Uh, maybe.
Girl: You’re going to rehab today! Grandma is going to be here any minute.
–55th & 6th
Overheard by: William Yam
Woman: This is very Desperate Housewives.
Man: Or Rear Window.
–40th & 9th
Overheard by: Linda Miller
Girl: I really enjoy going to movies by myself these days. Most of the guys I date, we don’t have same taste in movies.
Guy: That’s a great idea. Plus, you don’t get some weirdo trying to
“inadvertantly” place your hand on his cock.
–L train
Overheard by: Vivian
Boyfriend: This song was in ‘Beavis and Butt-head do America’!
Girlfriend: Yeah?
Boyfriend: I love that movie … And I love you.
–Dunkin Donuts, 26th & 7th
Overheard by: Kai Nagai-Rothe
