Student #1: What does “NB” stand for, at the end?
Student #2: Tuberculosis.
Student #1: That's “TB”, idiot.
–Newman Vertical Campus, Baruch College
Overheard by: I thought that stood for TELLYtuBBies!
Student #1: What does “NB” stand for, at the end?
Student #2: Tuberculosis.
Student #1: That's “TB”, idiot.
–Newman Vertical Campus, Baruch College
Overheard by: I thought that stood for TELLYtuBBies!
Old man walking dog (bumping into ghetto girl #1): Watch where you're going, bitch!
Ghetto girl #1 (turning and running after old man, wielding thick Harry Potter book as a weapon): That man just called me a bitch!
Ghetto girl #2 (running after friend): He was talking to the dog! Put the book down! His dog is a bitch!
–25th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: She-Who-Never-Uses-HP-As-A-Weapon
Older mother: Do you need a pomegranate, or are you good?
Teen: I'm good.
–Fruit Cart, 18th & 6th
Overheard by: EthanK
Nine-year-old kid: I don't have two dollars. You had two dollars and you refused to give it to me.
Mom: I gave it to the sales guy!
Nine-year-old kid: That's not me! You gave it to the sales guy without even asking me if I wanted it!
–23rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Vanessa
Hobo: Can you spare a donation to the united negro pizza fund?
–120th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Mikey T
Hobo: Would you like to make a donation to the united negro pastrami fund?
–21st & Park Ave
Overheard by: Lawrence C
Hobo: Hello ladies, would you like to donate to the united negro pastrami sandwich fund?
–Broadway, SoHo
Bum on street: Please give to the united negro pizza fund.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Squid
Hobo: Contribute to the united negro pastrami sandwich fund!
–Prince & Wooster
Black hobo to tourists: Would you like to donate to the united negro pastrami fund?
–Bleecker & Leroy
Overheard by: Lynn
Hobo: Please give to to the united negro pizza fund. A pepperoni is a terrible thing to waste. (30 minutes later) What's the best nation? A do-nation!
–Outside Buddha Bar
20-something woman: Why do I have a phone number for "Shrek" in my phone?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Poogins
Older, bald man on phone: Mom! I told you, you don't have to call me everyday. Just call me once a month…to see if I'm alive!
–Times Square
40-something suit on cell: You know what would be fine, mom? If you just stopped calling. That'd be fine! Just fine! Of course I want to hear from you, but just stop calling. It's over. Over. Don't call no more.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Oedipus
Crazy lady on cell (at the top of her lungs): Yo, douchebag! Where are my fucking children? I want to see my children. You owe my $10,000 in child support. And you know what? They're not even your kids! Ha! Oh, and my phone's dead.
–AirTrain
White girl on phone: Well, on the phone he doesn't even sound black. So just introduce him to your parents over the phone…
–28th & Broadway
Overheard by: Vanessa
Lunching lady: She's 718, acts like she's 212…but really, she's so 516!
–4 Train
Overheard by: JC
Male kickballer: You know, I always like waking up with two testicles!
–Queensboro Oval, 59th & York
Overheard by: Me too
Bag lady outside of a shelter to another: Men think all they got to do is show us their dick and balls and we gonna be mesmerized.
–30th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Beef Cheeks
Gay guy: Yeah, I stopped watching that game after he started dressing up like a woman and kicking photographers in the balls.
–Park Ave & 20th St
Overheard by: fey
High school girl wrapping arms around other girl's shoulders: Suck my balls.
–60th b/w Broadway & Columbus
Overheard by: Krisztina
Black suit on cell : What'cha mean you can't get a job? Tupac's been dead for years and the nigga's still putting out albums!
–Center St & Pearl St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Friendly suit to friend: It's not about getting the work done! It's about…well, I don't know what it's about.
–Vessey & Broadway
Overheard by: mondo man
Suit in next office: Okay, I have officially hated today! (phone rings) No! Fuck you!
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Guy on cell: So, did you find me a job yet? (pause) Well, I want something that isn't challenging, pays well, and doesn't care when I show up.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Cori
Guy on cell (about to start bank teller shift): Come on and hurry up. I'm trying to get drunk before I start my second job.
–Chase Bank, Times Square
Young woman yelling into cell after being refused entrance: Goddamn, whose dick I got to suck to get my career started? Tell me where they at!
–Lobby, Herald Square Towers
(girl is shrieking)
Guy: What? There are mouses all over the city.
Girl: It's mice.
Guy: Right, that's what I said. Mices.
–37th & Lexington, Murray Hill
Overheard by: Morgan
Asian chick: Yeah, we're sisters!
White chick: Don't you mean “sistas”?
Asian chick: Oh, yeah, right.
White chick: Why is it I have to teach you ghetto language when I am the least ghetto person I know?
Homeless guy: What's wrong with the ghetto?
White chick: Nothing's wrong with the ghetto. I'm just not from there.
Homeless guy: The biggest dicks are in the ghetto!
–33rd St & 3rd Ave
