Old woman #1: How many times have you beaten the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas?
Old woman #2: I’m not sure. Maybe three or four times…
–A train
Overheard by: gavin bjørn
Old woman #1: How many times have you beaten the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas?
Old woman #2: I’m not sure. Maybe three or four times…
–A train
Overheard by: gavin bjørn
Girlfriend: She was laughing that her grandmother choked to death on a hot dog.
Boyfriend: A what?
Girlfriend: A hot dog.
Boyfriend: What?
Girlfriend: Her grandmother choked to death on a hot dog.
Boyfriend: Is that a euphemism?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Slooop
Passenger #1: It's like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too.
Passenger #2: I don't get that. I mean, if I bought the cake, why wouldn't I eat it?
Passenger #1: That's not the point, if you eat the cake it's not there anymore. Get it?
Passenger #2: Then why did I buy the cake in the first place?
(15 minutes later)
Passenger #2: But what about the cake?
Passenger #1: So did you watch The Hills last night?
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Dr.C
Man preaching on subway: And even Michael Jackson has to answer to Jesus Christ himself.
Rush hour passenger: He'd never recognize him.
–F Train
Overheard by: Thom Cohen
Chick: Yeah, I’ve been dating my new boyfriend for two years now. About to make the big move into Brooklyn. Really exciting, except Brooklyn’s so scary. We saw some neighborhoods that I really don’t think I could walk around in late at night.
Dude: Yeah, but the East Village can be like that, too. The other day, there was this couple having a fight over their crack pipe. There were children present! But then they saw the kids and took it somewhere else.
Chick: Yeah, there were some people smoking crack at my birthday party, but I just thought they all had really fancy cigarette holders.
–L train, between 1st Ave & Bedford
Tourist: Wow, it’s like a whole underground city thing here!
Local: I dont know any freaks who would want to live in a city like this.
–Times Square subway station
Overheard by: LSB
Girl: What the fuck are you doing?
Guy: It was the train.
Girl: No, it fucking wasn’t.
Guy: I thought it would be fun.
Girl: You know what would be fun? Me kicking you in the balls.
Guy: That wouldn’t be fun.
Hobo: That would be a shitload of fun! Can I play?
–A train
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
European guy: I just saw Sven, that weird Swedish guy, an hour ago. Thought he already left?
American guy: I've come to the conclusion that maybe Scandinavians aren't human after all –just robots from the future.
–N Train
Guy #1: The girl with the tattoo on her breast.
Guy #2: Oh yeah, yeah. She got a huge booty. That shit be a jigglypuff.
Guy #1: Yeah, for real. I just wanna grab that shit.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she got hairy legs.
Guy #1: You seen ’em?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, she showed me.
Guy #1: But, you know, it’s winter. Girls be gettin’ sloppy in wintertime.
Guy #2: I don’t care, man. That shit’s atrocious.
–4 train
Girlfriend: Your family can’t be any worse than my roommates at boarding school. The worst was when they made me dress up like a cowboy and do stripteases to early Madonna.
-Q train
Overheard by: Jonathan Graves
