Ghetto girl #1: Yeah, ‘Ashley’ is a popular American name.
Ghetto girl #2: The only girls I know named ‘Ashley’ are skinny white bitches.
Skinny white girl sitting next to them: Uh, that’s my name.
–Downtown 3 train
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah, ‘Ashley’ is a popular American name.
Ghetto girl #2: The only girls I know named ‘Ashley’ are skinny white bitches.
Skinny white girl sitting next to them: Uh, that’s my name.
–Downtown 3 train
Dude: I haven’t had sex in a year.
Chick: Really?
Dude, entering crowded subway: I’m gonna cum in five seconds.
–Downtown 6 train
Suit #1: So we’re getting really into it, and all of a sudden her roommate walks in and acts all normal, like nothing’s going on!
Suit #2: What do you mean?
Suit #1: They started having a fucking conversation! About the laundry!
Suit #2: Shit.
Suit #1: And I’m like, ‘Uhhh, lady, I’m in the middle of dicking this broad — can you stop talking about fucking dirty socks for a minute?’
–N train
Overheard by: Roger
Chick: So how was the baby shower?
Guy: It was nice. My mother decorated it — there were hanging diapers everywhere and shit. It was cute.
–N train
Overheard by: tanechka
Old lady: Are you getting off at this stop?
Guy: The train hasn’t stopped yet.
Old lady: I know, but I want to be ready when it does.
Guy: Don’t worry, you’ll be ready.
Old lady: Yeah, but you’re a lot bigger than I am.
Guy: I’m not going to block the door.
Old lady: Yeah, but I’m carrying a lot heavier bags than you are.
Guy: You should get a cart.
Old lady: You should get a donkey!
Guy: A donkey? I’ll consider it.
–N Train approaching Queensboro Bridge
Overheard by: Laughing N Train
Man: So, like, what’s up with her?
Woman: She is sooo a narcist!
Man: What’s that?
Woman: When, like, you’re happy to see people in pain.
Man: Oh, yeah. She’s a total narcist.
–F train
Teen boy: I know, all she does is complain about how none of her clothes fit her anymore.
Teen girl: Well, didn’t anyone warn her?
Teen boy: About what?
Teen girl: That when you are sixteen and pregnant, you get fat.
–Downtown 4 train
Guy #1: Yo, you know that girl Maria?
Guy #2: Which one, the one with the fucked-up eyes or the one with the fucked-up hair?
Guy #1: The one with the fucked-up bug eye.
Guy #2: What about her? Did you fuck her?
Guy #1: That’s right, I fucked her. Boom, boom!
–Uptown 6 train
Guy #1: I mean, who is impressed by knowing all the state capitals? That’s easy. I can name every state capital.
Guy #2: Vermont.
Guy #1: Huh?
Guy #2: What’s the capital of Vermont?
Guy #1: That’s not a state.
–N train
Overheard by: JY
Son : We’re gonna get robbed and raped down here, we should have taken the bus.
Father: You only say stupid things.
Mother: Just hit him.
Son: Let’s get off at the next stop and take the bus.
Mother: Put your iPod away before those black guys try to rob you.
–Subway, near Battery Park
Overheard by: Mike Hunt
