Brooklyn queer #1: It’s like that time I had mono and sat on my stoop for three days, whittling wood.
Brooklyn queer #2: I swear to God, if you tell that story one more time I’m going to shoot myself.
–6th St & 5th Ave, Park Slope
Brooklyn queer #1: It’s like that time I had mono and sat on my stoop for three days, whittling wood.
Brooklyn queer #2: I swear to God, if you tell that story one more time I’m going to shoot myself.
–6th St & 5th Ave, Park Slope
Tourist, pointing at hobo: You stay right there. I’ll be back; you have my word.
Friend #1: What are you doing?
Tourist: I’m going to give this guy some money, but I don’t have any on me.
Hobo: Bless you.
Friends all open their wallets.
Hobo: Bless you, guys. See, we’re all working together!
–7th Ave between 8th & 9th, Park Slope
Overheard by: jayloo
Customer: Do you have The Picture of Dorian Gray?
Employee: What is that?
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?
–14th & University
Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.
–Walker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Wolf
Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.
–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: nosy cinephile
Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.
–13th & University
Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?
–Office, W 36th St
Overheard by: Evan
Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.
–Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?
–Walgreens, Union Square
Overheard by: Goldie
Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.
–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St
Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!
–Tompkins Square Park
Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.
–Century 21
Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!
–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th
Overheard by: Shaina
Teen boy: So I was watching one of those independent channels, and I saw this weird movie called Jesus Christ Superstar. Have you heard of it? It’s from the 70’s, so the camera work is really bad, but it’s not in black and white or anything. The best part is that Herod is all big and fat and he sings this funny song, like, “You’re the king of the Jews!” It’s a pretty funny movie. You know, except they, like, kill Jesus at the end.
–Q train
Overheard by: A White Bear
Girl: You know, I don’t think Jesus ever asked Mary Magdalene to kiss his balls.
–1849 Bar, Bleecker St
Drunk guy: Jesus saved me already, you fucking cunt!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: braincurve
Chick: Whatever. I could’ve annihilated Jesus at beer pong.
–Trump Building, Wall St
Overheard by: You know who
Girl on cell: Listen, the only ass I kiss is Jesus Christ. Got that?
–Key Food, 235th St
Overheard by: Miriam
Little kid: But why can’t I play on the slide?
Dad: Because they want to have a fleamarket instead.
Kid: But why?
Dad: Because some people don’t like kids.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: cathy hannan
Hipster chick #1: I wish they had a whole pizza made of crust. I would so buy it.
Hipster chick #2: Me, too!
Queer: You mean bread?
–Pino’s La Forchetta, Park Slope
Husband: The male hybrids seem to want to breed but the females aren’t interested, they just sit there and make no attempt to communicate with their peer group.
Wife: Are you being condescending? I sometimes think….I feel you’re being condescending, especially when you talk about the hybrids….
Daughter starts to cry.
Husband: This is never constructive. We’ll continue this later.
–7th Ave & 9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: I really hope they’re gardeners
Friend of patient: Has this woman been admitted yet? She’s been here since 6 o’clock.
Triage nurse: She’s not going to hear her name called sitting over here. She needs to be in the waiting room. They’ll call for her when they can take her.
Friend: She’s deaf.
Short pause.
Nurse: Well either way, she’s not going to hear it.
–New York Methodist Hospital, Park Slope
Overheard by: connor
Parking garage attendant: I ain’t even playin’. This is not a game. I can eat the pussy for three hours. Straight.
–12th St. between 7th & 8th Ave, Park Slope
Guy: If you were playing Risk, and you were Charles Darwin, would you place all of your armies on the Galapagos Islands?
–91st & Columbus
Overheard by: John Bardes
