Bearded guy: So, I've been really getting into, like, semicolons.
Toronto
Canadia
Bearded guy: So, I've been really getting into, like, semicolons.
Toronto
Canadia
Amused girl: Okay, so the dog sits on the hay but it doesn’t want to eat the hay. Meanwhile, it pees on the hay and leaves its doggy smell on the hay… Now, the horse comes along and wants to eat the hay, but the hay smells of doggy piss so the horse can’t eat it… You, my dear, are the horse. Haha!
Annoyed girl: At least I’m not the piss.
Florida
Sororitard to business classmates: Well, I guess it depends whether you consider a dog a person or not…
Alabama
Overheard by: liz
Guy: Dude, I think my roommate.
Leiden University
The Netherlands
Overheard by: Billy the Bootlegger
Male student: My GPA doesn’t mean shit if I can’t wipe my own ass, you know?
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/when-youre-right-youre-right.html
Female student #1: I think Picasso painted them as nudes to liberate women; to show that they're human beings.
Female student #2: I think he just liked tits.
French Class
UMass, Amherst
Gym rat #1: Maybe I can just get a pocket pussy. I think they’re expensive, though. Unless I can find a used one online.
Gym rat #2: Awww, dude! Who the fuck would sell one of those used?! And why would you buy it?!
Gym rat #1: Why not?
Gym rat #2: Why would you buy something that some other dude came in?!
Gym rat #1: You fuck girls that other guys have cum in before, haven’t you? At least a pocket pussy can be put in the dishwasher. Sure beats some chick refusing to shower!
Planet Fitness
Dorchester, Massachusetts
Man: That’s not love; that’s getting drunk and waking up naked in a barn.
Boise, Idaho
Girl to guy making out with her at bar: So, do you want my phone number?
Guy: If it was meant to be, I’ll guess it.
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: The Scandinavian
Teacher reading story to class: Little Bear hurt his head, and Big Bear kissed it better. Little Bear hurt his foot, and Big Bear kissed it better…
Six-year-old: Well, shit happens.
Sydney
Australia