Preppies

Wednesday One-Liners, Eh?

Conductor: This is the train from Grand Central to North White Plains. Next stop is Botanic Gardens. We do not go to Canada. Next stop is Botanic Gardens.

–Metro-North Train

Guy with heavy Brooklyn accent: I don't want to go to a place like Canada if I don't know where it is!

–Avenue of the Americas

Overheard by: Mike

20-something preppy boy (yelling into his phone): It's not racist to hate Canadians! Canadians are not a race!

–8th St & 6th Ave

Man on cell: What? He jumped off a bridge? You have to be Canadian to jump off a bridge!

–Times Square

Tourist: Man, I'm way too Canadian for this escalator.

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: escal-eh?-tor

Oh Wait– This Map Is Upside Down

Preppy girl #1: No, like…uptown is the new downtown.
Preppy girl #2: No, I know. It so is.

–Bowery & Thompson

Wednesday A1 Liners

Crazy hobo: Taco Bell is outta meat. Taco Bell… Is outta meat. I ask for a taco, they say, "We outta meat." What the fuck!? How you run outta meat at Taco Bell? You don't see me runnin' outta weed! Shit. Taco Bell is outta meat.

–Wendy's, 14th Street

Overheard by: Zack

Curious teenage girl: What is that on the floor? Ew! I hate when people leave bags of meat on the subway!

–R Train

Jewish lawyer, answering his desk phone: Weinstein's house of kosher pork. How may I direct your call?

–Newsroom, Midtown

Preppy teen: I am like, a total whore for salami.

–280th St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: casayoto

Woman on cell talking about her upcoming weekend: Mah husband's gone, my kids is gone, I'm jus' goin' lie on the floor and eat some baloney. Mmm hmm. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Das' right. I'm gonna eat some baloney, and some cheese?-I'm goin' make myself a baloney sandwich.

–4th St Station

Overheard by: Jess

And on the Third Day, George Carlin Rose

Crazy guy in camouflage: And I was like: “Fucking…what the fuck, man! Fuck it!”
Teen passerby (very seriously): I love that man.
Preppy friend: Oh my god, me too! (gives thumbs up)

–48th & 6th

Headline by: Golf Widow

Runners-Up:
· “Everyone Loves a Good Fuck” – melly
· “How Billy and Tommy Knew What Love Really Means” – Stellina
· “I Hear He’s Speaking at Graduation!” – fucking fan
· “Schizophrenia Is the New Black.” – Josh
· “Tourette’s Groupies” – TheSchilsk

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

But You Should Probably Stop Doing the Two-Hand Point

Preppy kid: It’s all fucking Guidos in this place.
Guido: You calling me a fuckin’ Guido?
Preppy kid: (sarcastically) Nooo. No, you’re no Guido. Where’s your gold chain?
Guido: My cousin ripped it off in a fight.
Preppy kid: Yeah, you’re definitely not a Guido.

–China Club

Overheard by: 13Atlantic

The Don’t-Go-Commando-in-Borrowed-Clothes Rule

Preppy girl: Come on, you have to go with us.
Athletic girl: I can’t, remember I don’t have a bra on and I have Lynn’s shirt.

–Cafeteria, Queens College

Overheard by: Waiting for time to pass.

Dude, You’re Not Even a Blip on Their Radar Screen

Preppy girl #1: I knew it! I knew it! I told you, I knew it!
Preppy girl #2: Like, oh my god! I knew it, too! I told you I knew it!
Guy, just getting on the train: Like o-m-g, I knew it too!

–R Train

Overheard by: Jenn

Cirrhosis of the Wednesday One-Liners

Hot chick dragging male companion: But you’ll like it this time, you were drunk yesterday…

–19th & 8th

Disheveled homeless woman: Fuck that shit! I’m looking for a real drunk!

–42nd & 9th

Overheard by: Mike

Man on bike, swerving down street: Look out, get out of the way! Drunk driver coming through!

–Washington Square East and Washington Place

Overheard by: Out of the way!

Appreciative preppy girl: Even though he’s a thug and a drunk, he’s a real intellectual.

–Art Fair at the Armory

Overheard by: Gina Beavers

Drunk guy about to chug: This reminds me of middle school. Got to get the 40 down before second period!

–Stan’s, Bronx

Young woman on cell: No, I do not need to get drunk more often, stop saying that mom!

–Union Square

Overheard by: McCrum

The Appeal Of Perez Hilton’s Site: Encapsulated

Female prepster: … And part of me is totally into really fucked up people with really fucked up problems.
Male prepster: Yeah. Me too. Totally, dude.

–110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Justin Casement

The Best Part of Waking Up Is Folgers in Your Sippy Cup

Six-year-old hippie girl to babysitter: If it’s okay with you, can you take Tommy and I to Grey Dog, please?
Six-year-old preppy boy: What’s “Grey Dog”?
Six-year-old hippie girl: My favorite coffee shop.

–Bleecker & 6th Ave

Headline by: chubba

Runners-Up:
· “By the Time She Was 13 She Had a Favorite Abortion Clinic.” – DR G LUV
· “I Just Get The Cafe Au Breast Milk.” – cbeck
· “If It Was 1908, She’d Be Working in a Textile Factory” – Nate
· “The Lattes Come with Biodegradable Crazy Straws” – Kristen
· “Their Mom Had Caffinated Breast Milk” – Josh

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist