Black gay guy: I thought she was a girl. Michelle thought she was a girl, too.
Michelle: I thought she was a young boy.
–4th St & Bedford Ave
Black gay guy: I thought she was a girl. Michelle thought she was a girl, too.
Michelle: I thought she was a young boy.
–4th St & Bedford Ave
Queer #1: Sometimes you remind me of Donny Osmond.
Queer #2: Sometimes you remind me of an asshole.
–NYU
Guy at bar: I’m sorry if I’m being an asshole.
Gay bartender: Oh, don’t worry -I deal with assholes all the time.
–Montien, 12th & 3rd
White queer to friend: So I was sitting there at the restaurant with my parents and looked to my left, and who was there? LL Cool J! Ooooh, girl, he is fine. I was all: "Hey, LL, you can park your big Underground Railroad right in my behind!"
–UES
Hipster: You can’t really enjoy Evel Knievel in the traditional sense.
–St. Mark’s Place
Nine-year old boy to another: Ooh, Indiana Jones! Look, Shia LaBeouf! I used to go out with him.
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: learned something new about Shia LeBeouf
Proud teen: I had my picture taken with Dennis Rodman’s sister.
–Houston & West Broadway
Worried hipster: And I think Judge Judy would just say that I don’t have a leg to stand on.
–W 19th St
Bus driver: I know what it’s like to miss a flight. You have to ride a Greyhound bus and sit next to a fat guy who eats Cheez-Its and talks about Scott Baio way too much.
–NYAS Shuttle, JFK
Overheard by: innocent bus rider
Gay thug: I better be able to attend the motherfuckin’ flower show or I’m going to hit someone.
–1 Train
Thug: Man, he told us not to add more sugar but we put more sugar in that sauce. Shit was panty-droppin, son.
–Deli, 21st St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Ryn
Thug, in high-pitched voice and flailing arms, while running across the street in front of oncoming UPS truck: Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!
–45th St & 8th Ave
Thug, to friend: That shit done tore my heart!
–N Train
Puerto Rican thug: Au revoir, here is my choo-choo train.
–F Train Platform
Overheard by: Garuda
Pretty girl looking in mirror: My eyebrows are too small for my face.
Queer friend: My penis is too small for my ego. We learn to deal with it.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Climate Changer
Cute girl: And ew! I can’t believe she slept with her brother!
Attractive, fashionable queer: I know! And he isn’t even that cute.
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: paul
Hipster on cell: Drunk dialing is the new black. Fuck you. Happy new year.
–House Party, Lorimer St
Overheard by: confabulation Nation
Redhead to friend: I swear we always have orange animals and they’re all called Renae.
–Central Park
Woman to man: There are many things to be sad about. The color of money being green isn’t one of them.
–90th & 1st
Overheard by: Sam
Sad suit: Their yogurt is just too white.
–Outside Pinkberry in Koreatown
Girl: Yeah, my pubes are pink.
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert
Middle aged gay man: Alright! I like colored pens! There, I said it.
–42nd St
Woman: So what did you do?
Gay man: I put my pants back on and left the apartment -he was just a house sitter!
–53rd St & 9th Ave
Animated queer: I knew Rachel was going to fall into the trap! I just knew it. I said to myself: “She’s going to fall into the trap!” and then she showed up, and I told her, “Rachel. Girl, don’t fall into the trap!” and what did she do?
Female companion: She fell into the trap!
–Church St & Vesey
Overheard by: Manhattman
