Teenage boy: I just realized I have not gotten laid, thus far in life.
Girl: When’d you come up with that?
–E 18th St & Ave J
Teenage boy: I just realized I have not gotten laid, thus far in life.
Girl: When’d you come up with that?
–E 18th St & Ave J
Suit #1: What are you doing this weekend?
Suit #2: I think I'm going to go jet skiing. Wanna go jet skiing?
Suit #1: Yeah sure, I'll go.
Suit #2 (answers phone): Yeah, I'm going jet skiing this weekend. Do you wanna come? Yeah, I'm going with Steve*. (pause) No, three dudes on a jet ski isn't gay. (turns to friend) Is it?
Suit #1: Two dudes is questionable, but three is definitely gay.
–Broome Street Bar
Math professor: This weekend I saw an exhibit at the Staten Island Zoo about dinosaurs.
Blonde bimbette: You mean with real dinosaurs?
–College of Staten Island
Little kid, holding out french fry: Patata!
Hick woman: Patoota? What's that?
Hick man: Little kids' word.
–Belgian Beer Bar, 75th & 2nd
Overheard by: Even my Spanish isn't that bad
Black woman: How do you get fucked up on wine?
Black security officer: I drink that shit like it's Kool-Aid!
–F Train
Overheard by: Ohhh Yeah!
Girl #1: He told her she was too fat?
Girl #2: Yeah, he broke up with her.
Girl #1: That's terrible!
Girl #2: Well, she did get kind of fat.
–Nail Salon, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: Rachel
Worker: … Just stick it in your pocket. I mean, seven inches isn’t bad.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy: So I tried to set my password to "Penis".
Girl: […]Guy: It said my password wasn’t long enough.
–66th & Broadway
College kid to girlfriend: You make me feel sometimes like ten inches isn’t enough.
–12th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Strand Customer
Asian girl on cell: It’s six inches. [Laughs.] Wait… What’s six inches?
–CUNY Queensborough
Drunk guy pissing against wall, on cell: I got my dick out at 14th street! Yeah, it’s 14 inches!
–Union Square
Hipster girl outside bar on Halloween: Hey–great costume! What are you?
Young woman wearing black hat, smoking alone on sidewalk: Um… thanks… it's not a costume…
–Mulberry & Prince
Overheard by: Karen S
British white guy with dreads: Where are we?
Girl: 34th Street.
British white guy with dreads: 34th Street? Isn't that where that miracle happened?
–34th St
Overheard by: GV
