High school hipster #1: Dude, you know that guy Ray Simmons?
High school hipster #2: Who?
High school hipster #1: Ray Simmons, Ray Simmons. I dunno dude, the fucking guy from KISS.
High school hipster #3: Richard Simmons.
High school hipster #1: Yeah, that's it, Richard Simmons.
–Path Train to NYC
Overheard by: sweatin' to the oldies
Suit #1: I have to leave at five today.
Suit #2: Why?
Suit #1: I have to go to church.
Suit #2: Jesus Christ! I wish I was religious.
–New York Post
Emo kid: Dude, have you seen Alvin and the Chipmunks yet?
Big black guy: No, not yet.
Emo kid: It was off the hook!
Big black guy: Really?!
–Starbucks, Port Authority
Redneck guy: Hey, got an extra cigarette?
Hipster guy with hipster girl next to him: No, sorry man.
Redneck guy: Well, can I fuck her then?
–43rd & 7th
Overheard by: no, she's mine
ER doctor to bloody man with legs strapped to gurney: So, what’s going on here?
Patient: I’m a drunk.
–Bellevue Emergency Treatment Room
Overheard by: judith currin
(spectators gather behind a wall of paparazzi taking pictures)
Tourist woman: Who is that?
Guy #1: David Wright and Willie Randolph.
Tourist woman: Who are they?
Guy #1: Baseball players.
Tourist woman: Ooooh. Which team?
Guy #1: The Mets.
Tourist woman: Oh. Honey! It’s just the Mets, let’s go.
Guy #2 (with Mets hat): Hey! Fuck you!
–43rd & Broadway
Overheard by: am
Nurse #1: So what are you guys doing for passover?
Nurse #2: Nothing.
Nurse #1: No Seder?
Nurse #2: I’m not Jewish.
Nurse #1: No way? Really?
Nurse #2: Really.
Nurse #1: Yes, you are.
Nurse #2: I’m not.
Nurse #1: You totally are. I know you are.
–Mount Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: Janis
Short shaggy-haired guy: Hahaha, I know, right? (pause) Wait, I don’t get it.
Tall shaggy-haired guy: I don’t get it either, man. I just say stuff.
–3rd Ave b/w 14th & 15th
Black girl #1: Can I feel the inside of your ear?
Black girl #2: Um…
Black girl #1: I’m not gay, I just like the way ears feel!
–6 Train
(cop pulls a drunk hipster chick in faux fur off the train for littering)
Drunk hipster girl: What? I can’t believe he just fucking did that! That wasn’t even her lollipop!
Drunk hipster guy: I know, man. I feel like such an asshole. Like I didn’t even do anything.
Drunk hipster girl: Like seriously, how can he just arrest her? She’s a lady! (yelling) she was wearing fur!
–L Train
Overheard by: Bewildered
