Wednesday One-Liners Need a Homing Device

Late-20s woman: Up until six months ago, I thought Europe was a country. I just didn’t know…

–6 train

Overheard by: 21 and knows better

Social butterfly: Williamsburg? Where is that? Pennsylvania?

–Broadway & Bond

Overheard by: the bfd

Dude: What? You’re not from Illinois, you’re from Chicago!

–Cheesecake Factory

Female tourist: Where’s Chicago, again? Oh, that’s here in New York, right?

–Outside Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Genissimo

Astonished woman: Los Angeles is not a state!

–Outside Javits Center

Overheard by: Tara

Asian tourist chick: Is this considered the West coast?

–Max Brenner, Union Square

Posted on February 21, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Brooklyn, Education, Global Geography, History & Geography, Idiots, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Not New York, NYC Geography, On the Subway, People, Places, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, The Bronx, Topics, Tourists, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village, Venues, Williamsburg, Yankee Stadium

To Think I Was Going to Share My Herpes with Her

Water connoisseur: So, how did things go last night with… Ugh… What’s her name? Kate?
Friend: Seriously, dude, it was going so well, but then she did something really f-ing nasty.
Water connoisseur: Whaaa?
Friend: Dude, she put an unfiltered ice cube in my Brita water. She totally tainted the water. Dude, that’s just gross.
Water connoisseur: How do you know she didn’t filter the cubes?
Friend: Dude, you just can’t risk something like that…

–N train

Overheard by: Mikeyy

Posted on February 16, 2007
Assholes, Coffee, Friends, Gripes, Guys, Names, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity

For All I Know, I May Be Having a Great Life

Thug skater #1: Man, how long you been skating?
Thug skater #2: As long as I been smokin’.
Thug skater #1: How long you been smokin’?
Thug skater #2: Man, I don’t know!

–12th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on February 16, 2007
Guys, Questions, Smoking, Sports, Talking/Convos, Thugs, Union Square and East Village

The Greek-house effect.

Frat boy #1: It’s so f-in’ cold in here.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, where’s the global warming when you need it?

–Subway restaurant near Wall St

Headline by: Dave Faith

Runners-Up:

· “Dubya’s College Years Were Ripe With Wit” – Katie

· “It’s Busy Killing Your Grandchildren” – bowloftoast

· “It’s Busy Melting the Pounds Off Jared” – David Bowers

· “It’s Truly Inconvenient” – Nicolbee

· “Just wait a few years and it’ll be wireless” – karl

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on February 15, 2007
Headline Contest Winners, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Weather

Wednesday One-Liners May Begin… Now

NYU student: I feel like the professor didn’t scare me enough about the final exam y’know? So then, like, I didn’t get nervous enough, so then I didn’t study enough, so then I didn’t do well on it, y’know? So, like, it’s really my professor’s fault, y’know?

–Korean deli, 13th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Joseph O’Connell

Cop: Yeah, the open-book exam? I passed it on appeal.

–45th & Broadway

Guy on cell: … Fucked me, dude. Fucked me hard. Bent me over the desk and rammed a bluebook right up my ass. Sooo fuckin’ hard…

–Union Square

Guy: I should have studied for this final… But the tequila was so good!

–NYU Silver Center

Student to professor during final: Do you want us to use our intelligence or follow the instructions?

–Columbia University

Posted on February 14, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Classroom, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Cops, Delis, Drinking & Drunk People, Education, Gripes, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, NYU, On Cell, Questions, School, School and studying, Students, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, West Village

Now I Remember Why I Didn’t Miss You

Woman #1: Hey! How have you been?
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Forget it.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jane

Posted on February 1, 2007
Questions, Times Square, Women

Can We Go See the Daily Planet Building?

Tourist mom: Ohhh! Look, dear! A fire escape!
Tourist child: Oh, where? Where?
Tourist mom: See? That balcony with the ladders…
Tourist child: But how do they get down?
Tourist mom: I think that ladder on the side slides down.
Tourist child: Oh, wow. It is just like in the movies!

–Ferry bus, 49th & 6th

Overheard by: A tourist who knows better

Posted on February 1, 2007
Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Movies, On the Bus, Questions, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

I Just Like Getting On My Knees Five Times A Day

Hairdresser #1: So, you’re a practicing Muslim?
Hairdresser #2: Yep.
Hairdresser #1: So, do Muslims pray to God, or Mohammed, or both?
Hairdresser #2: I don’t really get into the details.

–East 19th St & Ave R, Brooklyn

Overheard by: brooklyn blonde

Headline by: ilemanzer

Runners-Up:

· “I pray to Allah Updo and Crewcut Christ” – katcob

· “I’m just into the hating Jews part.” – DaveO

· “I’m more about the accessories” – Ty

· “Islam is in-er than Thai ladyboys this season.” – eyp

· “Neither does the President.” – Becca

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on January 29, 2007
Barbers and hairdressers, Brooklyn, Headline Contest Winners, Islam, Questions, Stupidity

I Could Sell It and Buy Me Some Body Parts

Man to fat lady holding up traffic on the stairs: Excuse me, ma’am. Do you need a hand?
Fat lady: Do I need a hand? Yeah, I need a hand, a foot, an arm, a leg… Shit, nigga, I need a mink coat!

–Subway exit stairs, 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky