Tall B&T girl: So then we made out and were all over each other and it was all PDA, and then we lost our virginities to each other. And I felt guilty because I was, like, 18, and he was, like, a minor.
Short B&T girl: Well how old was he?
Tall B&T girl: (silence)
Short B&T girl: Come on, most guys are like 15 when they lose their virginity.
Tall B&T girl: He was thirteen.
Short B&T girl: Oh.
–75th & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Guy #1: Women should be kept in pods like in The Matrix. And whenever we want one, we just pay a fee and rent them for a few days for sex and cooking. Then we put them back. They shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets…ever.
Guy #2: Or they should be put in a one big room where they sew and cook and sip tea until they get a call.
Guy #1: Yeah, that's a bit more humane, I guess.
–Spring & Varick
Girl #1: Where'd they meet? She had to have met him in a hospital!
Girl #2: No, they met on JDate.
–3rd Ave & 13th St
Woman #1: After that Oprah, I knew we needed to work at our problems.
Woman #2: Good for you, good for you.
Woman #1: Yeah, I was like “Nigga, you better get up off me, take this knife off my throat, and use some motherfuckin words.”
Woman #2: Girl. Just like Rihanna.
–Escalator, Penn Station
Overheard by: JHillary
Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer!
–49th & 6th
Hipster girl #1: I don't know why you keep talking to him.
Hipster girl #2: Imagine a virtual plus sign over his crotch.
–1st Ave, East Village
Trying-too-hard dude: You are so funny I can't believe you're single.
Already jaded 20-something chick: I am a 25-year-old girl wearing a Batman t-shirt to a bar in Soho, is it really that implausible?
–Soho
Thug #1: I heard he’s in some shit. Married, two kids, child support,
a wife, girl on the side, and she just found out about his boyfriend.
Thug #2: Yeah, that’s some shit.
–15th & 3rd
Overheard by: Garrett Ricciardi
Guy: You in need of a husband?
Woman: I’ve got the clap.
–N train
Overheard by: Camille Marquis
Woman #1: I’ve been with him for five years.
Woman #2: Wow. That’s the longest you’ve been with anyone, isn’t it?
Woman #1: Yes…unless you count my two marriages.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
