Girl #1: And it's been a few years now, and I've been with a man.
Girl #2: I knew that would happen.
–84th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nick
Girl #1: And it's been a few years now, and I've been with a man.
Girl #2: I knew that would happen.
–84th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nick
High school girl #1: So what made you think that you were PG?
High school girl #2: Why do you think a woman would think she was pregnant?
High school girl #1: I don’t know, you had sex?
High school girl #2: Well, I missed my period. I am sure I was pregnant. Isn’t that how it works?
–3 train
Overheard by: mickthequick
Musician: See, that’s why I don’t drink. So I can fuck any time.
–26th between 6th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mike
Guy: Where can I go to make it look like I went home last night?
–56th & 9th
Overheard by: David
Ghetto chick: …and it’s not like I’m calling him a transsexual, but he gave oral like a starving lesbian.
–58th & 5th
Overheard by: Melissa
Hobo: When I point, everybody smell collard greens.
–6 train
Girl: He has a really amazing skull.
–Bakery, Cortelyou Road
Guy to friend: Why is that girls can get away with picking their noses?
–170th St & Broadway
Loud girl on cell in line at deli: You know I have bladder issues whenever I have sex!
–Broadway & Ooper
Lady suit, screaming into cell: Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! I need a goddamn colon cleanse!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Colin
Queer #1: Well, I fucked him and — this is really gross — but he had a dick like an asparagus.
Queer #2: Whaddya mean? Like, green?
–Vlada Lounge
White hip girl #1: You know it’s funny I like to date and have sex with black and Italian men, but I can’t eat dark meat.
White hip girl #2: Wow, really? That is weird.
–CVS, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Heather C
Girl: But what if he doesn’t want to have sex with me?
Male friend: Oh, please. Banging exes is like the number two national pastime to baseball.
–6 train
Tween boy: So he said, “Sex is a very beautiful thing, you shouldn’t be ashamed about it.”
Tween girl: Sex is a beautiful thing. Your parents had sex…or you were adopted.
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: Nina
Big old lady yelling at MTA employee: Of course they're not coming! They're too busy fucking! Masturbating! Eating donuts!
–53rd & Lexington Subway Station
Girl to friend: Oh my god, he does things to me that make masturbation seem like bland oatmeal!
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: TheOneThatGotAway
Teen to friend: Seriously, if I was a guy for a day, all I'd do is piss standing up and masturbate.
–Queens Center Food Court
Guy on cell: Dude, if I didn't jerk off a couple times a day I'm pretty sure I'd be a serial rapist.
–Penn Station
Short nerdy businessman to another: I didn't know I was going out with her when I beat off.
–15th St & 9th St
Overheard by: Spicoli
Blond scruffy short man on headset: Do you really think girls would go for that? You think a girl would, for a chance to win $500, watch me masturbate?
–R Train
