Wednesday One-Liners Are a Social Construct

Angry construction worker to befuddled construction worker: Don't look at me like that! Don't say that to me! Go home and fuck my wife, asshole!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jumana

Construction working to another: Man, I need to get me a bi girlfriend. She'd be lovin' me, and I'd be lovin' her friends.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Rich R.

Construction worker, singing: If there's a skeeter on your Peter/whack it off! (claps twice)

–Waverly Place & 5th Ave

Overheard by: steph

Tough construction worker, unloading van: Yo, I was up til like 2 am watchin' Scooby Doo Where Are You!

–Humboldt & Withers

Overheard by: francesca

Construction worker, staring up at construction skyscraper: It's all twisted. It's going to come down.

–Williams St

Overheard by: Sonya

Posted on May 23, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Brooklyn, Construction Guys, Coworkers, Gays and Lesbians, Infidelity, Insults, Masturbation, One-liners, Penis, Penn Station, Promiscuity, Relationships, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Sexuality, Singing, Street, The Village, TV, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners

Play Safe Out There, Dear Reader

Girl: We were really drunk and didn't use a condom the other night.
Friend: It happens.
Girl: Afterward, he joked that I should get tested.
Friend: Hahaha, really?
Girl: We both laughed, it was funny…then he said, “no, seriously.”

–Williamsburg

Posted on May 22, 2015
Condoms, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Laughter, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Sex, Williamsburg

Wednesday One-Liners, a Worldwide Pants Production

Man on cell: The notebook is perfect and it also fits down my pants.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: I Love You Alex

Hipster girl: So, as I was tasting him… Oh! My pants just unbuttoned!

–W 12th St

Overheard by: Paige

Conductor: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is our last stop, Grand Central Station. Please make sure you have your purses, pants, makeup and fake eyebrows.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Meaghan

High school goomba on cell: He’s just mad because I’ve got my own style. Y’know, I decided what I wanted to be like — y’know, how I wanted to look — and went with it. Just wait until summer — he won’t be able to touch me. Yo, do you know how hard it is to find white pants in Staten Island if you’re a guy? I had to go to Brooklyn to get them!

–S48 bus, Staten Island

Overheard by: It’s not part of the uniform?

Girl on cell: Just pull your pants down and take it like a man!

–E 12th & 3rd Avenue

Overheard by: Mistres Silver

Dude: Remember when that Turkish girl stuck her hands in my pants? I was like, ‘Hold on. You’re Muslim and I’m Texan — I don’t think this is gonna work.’

–Cheapshots

Overheard by: B

Man to lady: I need pants desperately. I can’t wait!

–32nd & Broadway

Posted on May 19, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Books & Writing, Clothing, Global Geography, NYC Geography, Public Transportation, Sex, Stupidity, U.S. Geography, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

There’s a Going Down Payment

Queer #1: It’s too bad he’s not for sale.
Queer #2: I think you can rent him, though.

–BoConcept, West 18th Street

Posted on May 17, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Manhattan, Queers, Retail Therapy, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Shopping

Does a Threesome With Twins Break the Wednesday One-Liner Taboo?

Suit to another: He was just lucky not to be fucking someone in his family!

–Trump Building

Overheard by: Guess I'm lucky too

Gamer on headset: Dude, you are not listening to me. You can't hear me. You know why? Because you have no ears. You're the product of two retarded cousins fucking each other.

–Queens

Girl: He looks like my uncle… the one I'm really attracted to.

–Governors Island ferry

Overheard by: boring

Male passerby: I wouldn't fuck my family, but…

–4th Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Jessica

British professor wearing bow tie: It's fascinating just how exciting incest is!

–Silver Center, NYU

Posted on May 16, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brits, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Ferry, Girls, Handicaps, Incest, Men, Nerds, NYU, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queens, Questions, Retardation, Sex, Street, Suits, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Though I Didn't Foresee That You'd No Longer Be One

Girl #1: And it's been a few years now, and I've been with a man.
Girl #2: I knew that would happen.

–84th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Nick

Posted on May 15, 2015
Girls, Sex, Time, Upper East Side

For Once NC-17 is Healthier Than PG

High school girl #1: So what made you think that you were PG?
High school girl #2: Why do you think a woman would think she was pregnant?
High school girl #1: I don’t know, you had sex?
High school girl #2: Well, I missed my period. I am sure I was pregnant. Isn’t that how it works?

–3 train

Overheard by: mickthequick