Wednesday One-Liners Have at Least One Marketable Skill

Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.

–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

Overheard by: Christine

Skank: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Skye

Ditz: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.

–54th St between 9th & 10th

Media scholar: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.

–20th & 8th

Posted on December 2, 2012
A-List, About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Celebrities, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dancing, Jobs & Careers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, TV

Aw Yeah, That's the Stuff!

Cute, slightly obnoxious girl: I didn't get sexually harassed today!
Huge Latino male friend: High five!
(five or six people from surrounding tables walk over to get in on the high fives)

–Esperanto Cafe, 3rd & MacDougal

Posted on January 28, 2011
Girls, Harassment, Latinos, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners: Glug Glug Glug, Ahh!

NYU student to another: I haven't been drinking as much since I turned 21.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Rogelio

College girl to friend: I wasn't drunk, I was just cheerful.

–Canal St & Mott St

20-something girl on cell: He was drunk and fucking his demon ex-girlfriend.

–181 & Ft. Washington

Guy in dirty army clothes to another: I was still drunk, thank god Dunkin' Donuts was open.

–D Train

Middle aged guy on cell: That's what happens when you drink, motherfucker! You can't remember shit!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Aron

Posted on January 26, 2011
Age/Aging, Drinking & Drunk People, Duane Reade, Little Italy, Manhattan, Sex, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Stupid Incest Taboo

Guy #1: Oh is that the girl you fucking?
Guy #2: No, that's my niece.
Guy #1: Oh, too bad.

–6 Train

Overheard by: MJ

Posted on December 11, 2010
Family Ties, Guys, Questions, Sex, Trains Not Subway

…As We Learned the Hard Way During Fraternity Rush Week.

Guy #1: Big girls need love too!
Guy #2: Not from me, my bed is too small to fit a baby whale.

–46th St & 6th

Overheard by: TL

Posted on November 10, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Guys, Height, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance, Sex

Wednesday One-Liners Are Beautiful, Dammit!

Man to woman on lunch date: Pussy makes the world go round. When you're 85, dyin', you don't want to regret it if you never got to stick your head up there, or whatever. You wanna die sated.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Christine

Man, as two women approach: Vagiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaa!

–Washington Square

Overheard by: Joe

Hipster on cell: I don't even know you! I do not want to see your vagina.

–Park Ave & 22nd St

Overheard by: Sophia

Suit on cell: I'm gonna cut off her cunt and make her wear it as a hat!

–Times Square

Teenager to friend: That girl has a Stargate vagina. You put it in and, bam, a kid pops out!

–Catherine St & Madison St

Girl at speed dating event: …like my vagina!

–Watering Hole, E 19th St

Posted on November 3, 2010
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Death, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Kids, Lower East Side, Madison Square Garden, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Sex, Street, Suits, Teens, Threats, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Violence, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Eat at Friendly's

Mother to four-year-old making loud, weird noises in stroller: Will you shut up? See… That's why you don't have any friends.

–Supermarket, Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: George O.

Woman on cell: She put my friendship on the line for a Chanel bag! (pause) So I guess I'm worth like, $600 dollars.

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: Kade

Angry woman to man: You had to fuck my friend?! You couldn't think of a better place to put your dick?

–Elevator, 75 Wall St

Overheard by: Jonathan

Seated guy to standing woman: I was out drinking with a friend. Well, less of a friend and more my parole officer…

–L Train

Overheard by: Bradburnside

Suit to woman: I don't believe in friends, ya know?

–22nd & 6th

Overheard by: Edyna

Posted on October 27, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Astoria, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Drinking & Drunk People, Elevators, Fashion, Friendship, Grocery Stores, Kids, Men, Moms, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Passengers, Penis, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Starbucks, Suits, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

The Subtext Of Every Fraternity Initiation: In a Nutshell.

Fat short college guy: Yo, buddy. I've been meaning to ask, but…
Handsome tall college guy: Yeah?
Fat short college guy: If I was gay, would you give me a pity fuck?
Handsome tall college guy: Probably.

–Times Square