Was Saving 49 Cents Really Worth All That?

Cashier: Look, it's $1.99, okay? Then, I take $1.49, okay. So it's two for a dollar, okay.
Customer: I don't get it, it said it was two for a dollar and you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: No, no, no, see, it's $1.99, okay. I take out $1.49 okay. See, watch. I scan it and it says $1.99. Then I take out 1.49, see.
Customer: No, I don't see, I don't get why you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: Ugh… Mary*, come here. (speaks to Mary* in Spanish)
Mary*: When she scans it you don't see the real amount because she isn't finished the transaction yet.
Customer: Then why wasn't she showing me that?
Mary*: She did show you that.

–Pratt Institute Associated, Myrtle Ave

Overheard by: Is Subtraction Really That Hard?

Posted on October 1, 2009
Brooklyn, Cashiers, Coworkers, Customers, Money & Class, Questions, Shopping, Store, Stupidity

A Philosophical Discussion Can Break Out Anywhere

Girl: Is this the fitting room?
Shop employee: Yes, but there is someone in there, once he is out… time is impeccable.

–Broadway

Overheard by: vegantoast

Posted on September 27, 2009
Clerks, Girls, Questions, Shopping, Store, Time

Silicone or Latex?

Customer to clerk: Do you have cock?
Clerk: Yes.

–9th Ave & 52nd St

Overheard by: Oh, you mean caulk

Posted on September 19, 2009
Clerks, Customers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Questions, Shopping

What's So Deadly About Wednesday One-Liners?

Gluttony

Cashier lady: Damn, thank the Lord it's Friday! I'ma go to the heights and get me some margaritas and some quesadittas and get drunk and fat and happy. Damn!

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Sam

Lust

Woman to male friend: Oh, that sucks! I'm such a whore…

–5th Ave & 12th St

Greed

Teenager on school field trip eating sushi and talking to chaperon: Daddy, can I borrow some money for the gift shop? My credit card is down to its last $200.

–Metropolitan Museum of Art Cafe

Sloth

Hipster, seeing that there was construction on the train: Ugh, what are we–going to have to walk places now?

–L Train

Wrath

Library staff: Group study room people, we know who you are. Because we have your IDs. Please come downstairs and pick them up so we don't have to unleash our wrath on you.

–Brooklyn College Library

Envy

Two woman walking tall dog: I mean… can you believe that I used to carry him in my Givenchy bag and wrap him in cashmere as a puppy? I would be jealous!

–Bleecker & Spring

Pride

Girl, grabbing her ass: Don't you just love my ass? My ass rocks. I love my ass!

–Battery Park

Posted on September 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Battery Park, Beauty, Brooklyn, Brooklyn College, Cashiers, Clothing, Compliments, Dads, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Duane Reade, Ethnic Food, Fashion, Friends, Gifts, Girls, Happiness, Hipsters, Insults, Library, Man's Best Friend, Money & Class, Names, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Promiscuity, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Shopping, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Teens, The Met, Threats, Time, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Women

The Light Is Fading Fast

Queer #1 to friend: I could have been drinking.
Queer #2, coming out of London Boutique: But I was shopping!
Queer #1: But now I'm sober!

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Colleen Elizabeth Campagna

Posted on September 13, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Queer guys, Shopping, The Village

We Were With Him Until “Came Out Of the Ice.” How About You?

Crazy man: I would like to see that Hermes (pronounces it Her-MEES) scarf.
Man selling scarves and necklaces: It's pronounced air-mess. If you can't pronounce it, you probably can't afford it.
Crazy man: But in Greek it's pronounced Her-MEES.
Man selling scarves and necklaces: That has nothing to do with this scarf. The French can call it whatever they want.
Crazy man, to himself as he walks away: The French? The french with their Louis XIV wanting to be called the Sun King? What do the French know? They just came out of the ice! They don't know anything about anything!
Man selling scarves and necklaces, to himself: If you can't prononuce it, you can't afford it. That's funny.

–17th & 6th

Overheard by: Siena

Posted on September 6, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crazies, Fashion, Foreigners, History & Geography, Languages, Men, Names, Questions, Shopping, Stupidity, Vendors & Street Performers

Destiny's Child: Really Makes You Think

Salesgirl: And this is the Carol's Daughter line of hair and body products. The creator named it after her mother, Carol.
Sarcastic customer: Really? Wow, I'd never imagine that.
Salesgirl, not getting sarcasm: Yeah, isn't that really cool?

–Sephora, W 34th St

Overheard by: nisey79

Posted on September 5, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, Customers, Hair, Health and Hygiene, Names, Parents, Questions, Shopping, Store, Stupidity

Wednesday One-Liners Adjust Their Fannypacks and Re-fold Their Maps

Hyper tourist to friend: Wow! A shoe repair shop? Can we go? Please? Come on, don't you have some shoes you want shined?

–74th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Raven

Enlightened tourist: Oh! So Broadway's not just one place? It's a series of buildings? Oh, I see!

–46th & Broadway

Tourist woman walking off Brooklyn Bridge: Wow, look at how nice this is! I can't believe we paid only $24 for it!

–Brooklyn Bridge

Overheard by: D-Law

Tourist to another: There are so many yellow cars in New York City.

–42nd & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Lisa

Tourist: Not until high school did I know buses could make turns!

–E Train

Overheard by: Probably had to repeat a few grades

Tourist exiting subway: Did anyone lose a pass? Because I just found one.

–103rd & Broadway

Posted on September 2, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Brooklyn, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Friends, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Shoes, Shopping, Street, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

I Love a Girl Who Knows What She Wants!

Guy to passerby with Victoria's Secret bag: Hey, where is there a Victoria's Secret around here?
Passerby: A couple blocks down on 5th.
Guy to girlfriend: Come on, we're going to Victoria's Secret.
Girlfriend: Hell no, I'm not going to Victoria's Secret, I'm going to McDonald's and I'm gonna supersize it.

–23rd & 6th

Posted on August 14, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Directions, Girlfriends, Guys, Height, Junk Food & Fast Food, Questions, Shopping, Strangers

Shopping