A Wednesday One-Liner to Remember

Midwestern mother to ticket vendor: Thank goodness for the bus, we've been in the hotel for four days because we can't walk anymore!

–50th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Kate

Ditz, singing and marching: It's a sidewalk, so I have to walk on it!

–St. Mark's & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Hannah

Sarcastic, portly girl: Great, my two favorite things: walking and learning.

–Governor's Island Ferry

Crazy man in the middle of the street blocking traffic: Car are outlawed! Walk everywhere! I walked to China last week! I walked to Paris yesterday!

–18th & 3rd

Overheard by: Maria

Tough guy to another: I'm a little afraid to walk around with you 'cause it seems everyone you work with dies.

–PJ Clarke's

Posted on March 31, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Crime and Punishment, Death, Education, Fears, Ferry, Girls, God, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Midwesterners, Moms, One-liners, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Singing, Street, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

I Love the Movies

Woman #1, singing: Follow the road, follow the road…
Woman #2: (is silent)
Woman #1, singing: Wiki, wiki, wiki, whoo, whoo! (does excited thumb dance)
Woman #2, joining in: Wiki, wiki, wiki, whoo, whoo! (thumbs dance)
Woman #1 and #2: (laugh together)

–Movie Theater, 66th St

Overheard by: April

Posted on March 18, 2010
Dancing, Laughter, Movie Theaters, Singing, Weirdness, Women

Jesus Christ, Aren't You Eighteen Yet?

Two-year-old boy: I see a saxophone! He's singing a saxophone!
Father: You don't sing a saxophone, you play a saxophone.
Two-year-old boy: That's not true!

–66th St

Overheard by: crazy cute.

Posted on March 8, 2010
Dads, Instruments, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Singing, Words

Submitter Says What We Always Say

Blue-collar guy, singing: I want to wake up in the city… (crosses street)
Nerdy guy, also singing: …that never sleeps!

–W 39th b/w 7th & 8th

Overheard by: Life's a Musical!

Posted on February 19, 2010
Blue-collar workers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nerds, Singing, Wishes & desires

Your Editors Believe We'll Have Another Drink

Conductor #1, singing: I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.
(train stops and doors don't open)
Conductor #2: Doors! The doors!
(doors open and then don't close)
Conductor #2: Doors!
(doors close and train starts moving)
Conductor #1, singing with backup music: I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.

–F Train

Posted on January 29, 2010
Conductors, On the Subway, Passengers, Public Transportation, Sensory Experiences, Singing, Weirdness

Great. Now Explain It Again in a Slow, Sultry Tone.

Music teacher: So, how do you control the sound of a recorder?
Embarrassed teenage boy: Um… You put your fingers… Uh, in the hole. And the higher you want the sound to be, the more fingers you put in the hole.
Music teacher: Is there any other way to control the sound?
Embarrassed teenage boy: Well, the harder you blow, the faster the sound will come. And the softer you blow, the slower it'll come.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on December 18, 2009
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Education, Gadgets, Queens, School, School and studying, Singing, Students, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Tracy Chapman's Been Saying That Since 1988

Bag lady to white guy whistling “When the Saints Go Marching In”: Damn, nigger, that's my jam!
Guy: I'm… Ummm… sorry?
Bag lady: Yeah? Fuck you too!
(guy and girl walk away)
Bag lady: Shit, I gotta get outta this town and get my own place!

–L Train

Overheard by: The Music Man

Posted on November 7, 2009
Bag ladies, Crazy, Girls, Guys, Insults, On the Subway, Singing, White People

American Hipsters Are More American Than Hipster

Stoned 20-something hipster #1, on Disney music: Noooo, Robin Hood is so gay!
Stoned 20-something hipster #2, playing “Not in Nottingham”: It is *not* gay! It's honest!

–St. Clemens Church & Theater

Overheard by: emily darwin

Posted on October 31, 2009
Disney, Gays and Lesbians, Hipsters, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Singing, Stoners, Theater, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Won't Eat in a Restaurant Called “Ma's”

Nine-year-old boy to mother, forlornly: In five days, it will be two weeks since we last ate in a restaurant.

–75th & Amsterdam

Jewish girl with heavy New York accent: So when we went to the South we ate at a waffle house, aka the most amazing experience ever! Everyone there was missing at least two teeth!

–Baruch College

Overheard by: kteezy

Man on cell: What the fuck was in that Chipotle last night?

–Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: Steve

Preppy teenage boy to friend: Dude, so then I took her to Applebee's. She thought it was so romantic–like "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" status.

–Hunter

Overheard by: Hakuna Matata

Posted on October 21, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, College, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Ethnic Food, Food, Friends, Hunter, Jews, Kids, Love, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Preppies, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Singing, Street, Teens, Time, Travel, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-Liners for T

Announcer: There is a downtown b as in "brothel" train approaching 81st Street. That's right. Brothel.

–81st St Station

Angry hobo, after receiving no money: Well, fine, screw you all! The reason you ain't giving me anything is cause no of y'all speak English. They should call this the "e" for "immigrant" train.

–E Train

Overheard by: Matt

Dude outside bar at happy hour: He expects me to be a BFF. But I'm just a bf… No, I'm just an f.

–9th Ave & 56th St

Overheard by: K Melv

Businesswoman on cell: No… the letter s… "s" as in "shot."

–Madison Square Park

Crazy woman to herself: My mom always called me "a" because, when I was little, really little, like before I could talk, I would sing "a a a a a a" over and over. And that was the joke, that I knew the first letter of the alphabet. (shrugs)

–S79 Bus

Little kid, singing alphabet song: A – b – c – d – h – i – v!

–M102 Bus

Posted on October 14, 2009
AIDS, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bus, Clerks, Crazies, Friendship, Guys, Hobos, Homeless, Insults, Kids, Language Barrier, Madison Square Garden, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Panhandling, Parents, Parks, Public Transportation, Singing, Street, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits, Wednesday One-Liners, Women, Words

Singing