Wednesday One-Minors

Two-year-old, pointing to Citibank: That's my bank!

–7th Ave & President St, Park Slope

Overheard by: But who's your insurance carrier?

Nine-year old boy on cell: Well, you know what? Fuck you! I'm going home! (slams cell shut and begins strutting across parking lot)

–Parking Lot, Staten Island Mall

Overheard by: WTF????

Ten-year-old girl in bathing suit to seven-year-old girl: Stop touching my ass. Whore!

–Park, Astoria

Little girl to group of little girls: Raise your hand if you're allergic to penicillin!

–R Train

Overheard by: cole

Little girl to friends, pointing at platform: That's where hobos live!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

Three-year-old boy, eating hamburger: Cock cock cock cock!

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Alexis from Texas

Kid in cart at end of dairy aisle as man he came in with goes down aisle: Ssomeone's gonna take me! Someone's take me!

–Stop & Shop, Kingsbridge, Bronx

Overheard by: Krisztina

Posted on January 2, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Astoria, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Health and Hygiene, Home, Sweet Home, Homeless, Insults, Kids, Malls, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Parks, Penis, Staten Island, Street, Stupidity, The Bronx, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Is There a “Ctrl Z”?

(teen #1 presses the 26th floor button. Teen #2 presses 21-25th floors for fun)
Teen #1: Dude, what the hell did you do that for?! You're an idiot, I hope you fall off my roof and die!
(pause)
Teen #3, seriously: Can we unpress it?

–Elevator, Bay Ridge

Posted on January 2, 2015
Accidents, Brooklyn, Death, Insults, Stupidity, Teens, Wishes & desires

He Did Turn a Crappy Sci-fi Role Into a Lucrative Career

Flyer girl: Macbeth with Patrick Stewart!
Tourist: Is that a magician?

–TKTS

Posted on January 1, 2015
Flyer people, Magic, Stupidity, Theater, Theater & Dance, Tourists

Networking for Dummies

Guy: Have you read the book we’re going to be discussing tonight?
Jane Hyun: I wrote it.

–Starbucks, 29th & Park

Posted on January 1, 2015
Books & Writing, Comebacks, Guys, Idiots, Intelligentsia, Questions, Starbucks, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

They Wore White to the Funeral

Girl #1: Guess who my dad saw in an elevator yesterday? Johnny Carson.
Girl #2: I’m pretty sure he’s dead. Don’t you mean Johnny Cash?

–55th & 3rd

Posted on January 1, 2015
About Celebrities, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pop Culture, Stupidity

That Was Fun! I Should Try Thinking More Often!

Bimbette #1, after motorcycle zooms by somewhere in the distance: What was that?
Bimbette #2: I dunno… I kinda thought it was a cow.

–Washington Square West

Overheard by: i’m sorry…don’t we live in Manhattan?

Posted on December 31, 2014
Animals & Nature, Bimbettes, Stupidity, Washington Square Park

Wednesday's One-Liners Sell Themselves

Teenage nerd: My boss and my dealer have the same name. One time I called my boss asking for weed, and he was like "hey!" and I was like "yo, lemme cop" and he was like "I think you have the wrong number" and I hung up.

–Tompkins Square Park

Overheard by: joy

Yuppie 30-something in black coat and white scarf: I'm going crazy! I've got his dealer's number programmed into my phone, but I can't remember her name, so if I call, I won't know who to ask for. And you have to know who to ask for, or they'll think you're a cop!

–16th St & 7th Ave

Loud, mildly intoxicated girl at dinner: People who litter are so much worse than drug dealers.

–Brooklyn

Lady on cell: Tourism is the only industry that doesn't depend on drug cartels.

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Diaz

Posted on December 31, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Crime and Punishment, Drugs, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Names, Nerds, On Cell, Parks, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Tourism, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Women, Yuppies

The Best Part Is, They're Talking About Children's Programming

Guy #1: May I presuppose what I think you're trying to articulate, which is, that the core universality of your character's arc needs to be explicitly emphasized in the color palate?
Guy #2: I think that's fair, but I'm not sure you can go there with an audience.
Guy #1: But isn't the whole narrative journey bringing them there?
Guy #2: Yes and no. Essentially we can't bring them there, because we can't get there ourselves.
Guy #1: Hmmm, I'm not sure if I agree with that.
Guy #2: We can't get there. Our protagonist can't get there, he can't bring us there with him.
Guy #1: Where?
Guy #2: The river.
Guy #1: Why is he going to the river?
Guy #2: Because that's–that's–that's the thing. That's the thing he has to do. It's like, he is that river, and that's why we go to a wide-shot there.
Guy #1: I do see the wide-shot there, but I think we need more exposition for the catharsis to work.

–Think Coffee, 3rd & Mercer

Overheard by: todd