Pissed-off girl, fighting with friend: You outer-borough trash!
(10 minutes later)
Friend: Why did you even call her that?
Pissed-off girl: That's what she is!
Friend: But you're from Staten Island!
–Karaoke Duet 35
Overheard by: Slugs
Pissed-off girl, fighting with friend: You outer-borough trash!
(10 minutes later)
Friend: Why did you even call her that?
Pissed-off girl: That's what she is!
Friend: But you're from Staten Island!
–Karaoke Duet 35
Overheard by: Slugs
Guy to girl: You're going to regret it for the rest of your life if you get the wrong salad.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Slender waitress to two large customers: Make sure you finish *all* of that! Especially the celery. That's my favorite part! (they look in disgust)
–Applebee's, Astoria
Yoga clothes-clad girl, loudly to friend: It is not a vegetable. It's a legume!
–6th Ave & W 12th St
Man to woman: So I sayz, "Lady, you're my cuppa tea alright, but I like the occasional cucumber, if you know what I'm sayin'…"
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Mira
Gay guy: I saw people coming out of the woods and I was like, "Aghhh! Corn children!"
–8th & 45th
Overheard by: i'd be scared, too
Sarah Jessica Parker's son: Do you know what kind of lettuce she likes?
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Brooke
Frat dude: Mickey Mantle is the one dead person I would totally bring back to life to have gay sex with.
–Yankee Stadium Museum
Overheard by: sternie
30-something fratboy to wife: He still gives me mixtapes like we're still in high school!
–65th & Broadway
Overheard by: ENGLEBERT
Young frat boy to friend, deadpan: I came on her face. Then her mom walked in.
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Josie
Drunk frat boy trying to pick up a girl wearing a red and white striped shirt: I'm sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to tell you…I found Waldo.
–88th & 1st
Fratboy on phone: When was the baby born? (pause) Sick, dude!
–Penn Station
Little girl to mom: But mommy, what comes out of Tinkerbell's bladder?
–92nd St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Gordon D
Conductor: And don't forget to wave goodbye to me when you get off. Hey, you! You didn't wave! Can you people believe it? He didn't wave after I asked him to. So please, remember to wave goodbye to the conductor because we drive these trains, and without us you'd be taking the bus in the daylight and you vampires will burn, burn I say, burn!
–3 Train
Overheard by: I waved
Tattooed man in leather vest, to friend: I'll tell you straight up: I am an angel designed to destroy demons. (weighty pause) I have no compassion… whatsoever… for demons!
–42nd St
Overheard by: Harper
Man to friend: The problem with New York is that there are just so many places for zombies to hide.
–57th St b/w 5th & 6th
Little girl: That's not a fairy! That's a boat!
–Waiting for Ellis Island Ferry
Overheard by: Laura
Teenage girl to friend: I'm not listening to you, I'm looking for the dragon!
–Prospect Park:
Man trying to quiet down crying toddler: Shhhhh, you sound like a Wookie!
–Brooklyn Zoo
Overheard by: Snoog
Organizer #1: What about different food options for the luncheon, (thoughtful pause) what about kosher food?
Organizer #2: Good idea, but how will we be able to tell who wants to eat kosher?
University staff: We could just make black armbands with the Star of David on them. (collective gasps in the room) What?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: fdh
Teen girl #1 to friend staring at salad: Babe, they're croutons.
Teen girl #2, slowly looking up at her: But… they're black.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stina
Man to woman pushing button for lower floor: We're going up.
Woman: Oh my god! How do I get down?
Man: Well, the elevator comes back down once it gets up to the top, it doesn't just circle.
–Elevator, 1 Battery Park Plaza
Overheard by: shmarls
Woman to friend: Look, I just don't want to be born again, okay? I saw how you attacked that Jewish woman in the airport.
–Broadway & 10th St
Overheard by: Stephanie
Patron: Jews for Jesus are just reformed black panthers.
–Turkish Kitchen, 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Pola
Student who has just drawn a stereotypical Jew to another who has drawn Jesus on the cross: Wait–wait, Jesus was Jewish?
–Bronx High School Of Science, Judaic Cultural Society
Girl at birthday supper: I get all Jewish and entitled when anyone tries to tell me "no!"
–8th Ave & 43rd St
Overheard by: Lankyguy
Jock to another: And then he like tried to fuck me. I guess that's what I get for spending the night at a dude's house. I mean he was Jewish and all, so he was really nice but still…
–23rd St & Lexington
Hobo with guitar, singing: My girl! That white girl is my girl! She may look like Brooke Shields but she's my girl! My girl! Oooh-ooh… Come on, everybody, sing with me, Puerto Ricans, too!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Tater
Drunk Puerto Rican father to man on train, yelling: The capital of Puerto Rico is the Bronx, bitch!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Alice Dalice
Guy, about some girls: I tried to tell them I was Puerto Rican, but they kept saying I was from Spain and called me a douchebag.
–East Village
Overheard by: NYCGlamDiva
Diner waitress: Just because he's Puerto Rican don't mean he's a cheetah.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: monkey girl
Asian girl to Hispanic guy: Come on! She's, like, the Puerto Rico of Asia!
–Jamba Juice, Mercer & Houston
Gluttony
Cashier lady: Damn, thank the Lord it's Friday! I'ma go to the heights and get me some margaritas and some quesadittas and get drunk and fat and happy. Damn!
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Sam
Lust
Woman to male friend: Oh, that sucks! I'm such a whore…
–5th Ave & 12th St
Greed
Teenager on school field trip eating sushi and talking to chaperon: Daddy, can I borrow some money for the gift shop? My credit card is down to its last $200.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art Cafe
Sloth
Hipster, seeing that there was construction on the train: Ugh, what are we–going to have to walk places now?
–L Train
Wrath
Library staff: Group study room people, we know who you are. Because we have your IDs. Please come downstairs and pick them up so we don't have to unleash our wrath on you.
–Brooklyn College Library
Envy
Two woman walking tall dog: I mean… can you believe that I used to carry him in my Givenchy bag and wrap him in cashmere as a puppy? I would be jealous!
–Bleecker & Spring
Pride
Girl, grabbing her ass: Don't you just love my ass? My ass rocks. I love my ass!
–Battery Park
