Tourists

Tourist girl, Pointing at a set of glass windows: Hey, isn’t that where Carson Daly lives?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Max Bivona

Unwitting tourist to hot dog vendor: Can I see your sausage before I buy?
Hot dog vendor: Excuse me, hon?

–Astor Place

Man on subway, about to exit: Obama, Islam, Canada. Obama, in Islam, and Canada. (exits train)

–Downtown D Train

Overheard by: katiekatydid

Thug to tourists: How do you say "thank you" in Canadian?

–34th & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Fluent in Canadian

Student: I'm so sick and tired of your Canadian condescension.

–Eugene Lang College

Crazy Brooklynite at a payphone: The Queen owns everything! She owns Europe, she owns Africa, and she owns Canada! The one thing she doesn't own is the US. So could somebody give me a US quarter for a Canadian quarter?

–Broadway & 8th St

Ditzy blonde to another: Do we look Canadian?

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Holls

Teen: Iced cappuccino, please.
Middle-aged tourist: Aren’t you a little young for that much caffeine, sweetie?
Teen: Uhhh, I’m from New York — there was caffeine in my breast milk.
Middle-aged tourist: Oh! You’re from here! Well… Could you give me directions to–
Teen: –Don’t you people have maps for that kind of thing?

–Bread Factory, 785 Lexington

Tourist lady #1: Hey look, there’s the Statue of Liberty!
Tourist lady #2: Then that must be Alcatraz!

–flight into LaGuardia

Overheard by: Jennifer

Tourist lady: Will we get to stop off at the Statue of Liberty on this bus trip?

–49th & Broadway

Overheard by: Brooke Rachel

Tourist to woman handing out fans promoting Hair: What is this?
Woman: It’s, you know, a fan. So you can blow yourself.

–Broadway & 46th

Overheard by: Dain

Tourist chick #1: You have to go uptown in order to go downtown to Chinatown.
Tourist chick #2: And I thought this was a non-stop…

–6 Train

Tourist guy: Where are you from?
Female waitress: Sri Lanka.
Tourist guy: Oh, I've always wanted to go to India.
Female waitress: Did you really just say that?

–Times Square Bakery

Overheard by: trey

Girlfriend snaps a photo of her tourist boyfriend, posing under a street sign.

Guy: Looking good, Perry.
Tourist: How did he know my…? Oh.

–Perry & Greenwich

Overheard by: Bonno

Dumb tourist: Excuse me, am I heading toward the Empire State Building?
New Yorker: No, you're in Brooklyn!
Dumb tourist: So… Does that mean I'm really far off?

–Park Slope