Sorority girl tourist #1, about photo of guy on camera phone: Look at this gluteus maximus.
Sorority girl tourist #2: Oooh, nice gluteus maximus. Hey, what’s with all the weird body part names, anyway? Gluteus maximus…
Sorority girl tourist #1: Vulva…
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Dolores!
Hobo: Give me a dollar or I’ll curse you!
Tourist: No. Get a job.
Hobo: Fuck you! There, I cursed you.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Deb
20-something male tourist #1: Dude, there are so many restaurants around here.
20-something male tourist #2: Weird.
–46th St between 8th & 9th Ave
Tourist girl, Pointing at a set of glass windows: Hey, isn’t that where Carson Daly lives?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Max Bivona
Unwitting tourist to hot dog vendor: Can I see your sausage before I buy?
Hot dog vendor: Excuse me, hon?
–Astor Place
Man on subway, about to exit: Obama, Islam, Canada. Obama, in Islam, and Canada. (exits train)
–Downtown D Train
Overheard by: katiekatydid
Thug to tourists: How do you say "thank you" in Canadian?
–34th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Fluent in Canadian
Student: I'm so sick and tired of your Canadian condescension.
–Eugene Lang College
Crazy Brooklynite at a payphone: The Queen owns everything! She owns Europe, she owns Africa, and she owns Canada! The one thing she doesn't own is the US. So could somebody give me a US quarter for a Canadian quarter?
–Broadway & 8th St
Ditzy blonde to another: Do we look Canadian?
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Holls
Teen: Iced cappuccino, please.
Middle-aged tourist: Aren’t you a little young for that much caffeine, sweetie?
Teen: Uhhh, I’m from New York — there was caffeine in my breast milk.
Middle-aged tourist: Oh! You’re from here! Well… Could you give me directions to–
Teen: –Don’t you people have maps for that kind of thing?
–Bread Factory, 785 Lexington
Tourist lady #1: Hey look, there’s the Statue of Liberty!
Tourist lady #2: Then that must be Alcatraz!
–flight into LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jennifer
Tourist lady: Will we get to stop off at the Statue of Liberty on this bus trip?
–49th & Broadway
Overheard by: Brooke Rachel
Tourist to woman handing out fans promoting Hair: What is this?
Woman: It’s, you know, a fan. So you can blow yourself.
–Broadway & 46th
Overheard by: Dain
Tourist chick #1: You have to go uptown in order to go downtown to Chinatown.
Tourist chick #2: And I thought this was a non-stop…
–6 Train
