Guy: She should be taking on an extra load now.
Girl: She should be taking everyone's load.
–PATH
Guy: She should be taking on an extra load now.
Girl: She should be taking everyone's load.
–PATH
Obvious tourist #1: I love it when you step out of the train station, and it's like… Bam! City!
Obvious tourist #2: Yeah. City life.
–Amtrak Train
Overheard by: broken headphones
Headline by: limescentedguy
Runners-Up:
· “I Hear Prison’s the Same Way” – time served
· “Or It’s Like … Bam! Gunshot!” – emeril
· “That’s Not the City, That’s Chuck Norris” – Matt M.
· “Then BAM! You’ve Been Mugged.” – Fresca P.
· “Tourist, The Other White Meat” – Stick’em Up
· “Two Weeks Later They Finally Found Their Way Out Of Penn Station” – BabakganoosH
Girl: And she was like “I usually only play the nice girls, so I'm excited to play someone sinister.”
Gay guy, laughing out loud: Did she actually say that? I hate her!
Girl: I know, right? And she has no butt, either! It's just like, flat. What would that look like? Not that anyone should have to imagine her naked.
Gay guy: It's like…a cube. (both laugh)
–Metro North
Guy #1: And then she was like “you have baby-dar.” I'm all like “baby-dar? What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”
Guy #2: Yeah.
–PATH Train
Overheard by: preggers
Tacky girl #1: Why do I feel like every time I gain a friend, I lose a friend?
Tacky girl #2: (silence)
Tacky girl #1: It's like AIM buddy lists, like when you max, you know? You have to delete a friend to add a new one, you know? My friendships are all like that, you know?
Tacky girl #2: I don't think it works like that.
Tacky girl #1: Yeah, you're right.
(pause)
Tacky girl #2: Well, if it was like that, who would decide?
Tacky girl #1: Umm…god?
Tacky girl #2: Well, maybe whoever's deciding is telling you to look at the friends you do have, and, like, see if they're worth it.
Tacky girl #1: Ohmigod! You are so good. How did you get so good?
–Metro-North
Woman on train to loud Puerto Rican woman on cell: Excuse me, can you please lower your voice?
Puerto Rican woman, into cell: This bitch just asked me to lower my voice!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Emily
Mother to grown daughter, as they huddle together: It's freezing!
(after a few minutes)
Mother: You're not warm yet?
Daughter: I'd be a lot warmer if I crawled up your crotch. (laughs)
Mother: You can't crawl up mommy's crotch anymore, now can you? You're too big!
–LIRR
Mystified/amused pot dealer, as two jocks jog past him after sunset: They just runnin'! No cops, no robbers, no cowboys, no Indians, nothing blowin' up. They just runnin'!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Dad to three-year-old boy learning to how to swing: Well, maybe if you were in better shape, this would be easy for you. You need to work on your abdominals.
–Rckefeller Park
Overheard by: Maria
White buff guy, during spin class: I need to do some serious laundry, so I only had the one clean towel. If ya can't get one, I can always just give you mine and do my usual air dry jumping jacks for the insane amount of fems they have in the locker room over there. But apparently I have a bad-case-of-gay-face, because they look at me like a fat kid in front of the tasty delight window.
–29th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Lace
Suit to another: I wish I could bench press the sins of the world!
–74th St & Broadway
Girl in short skirt and stilettos: Did we just power-strut too far?
–PATH
Preteen boy, on his way to St. Patrick's Parade: Mommy, how long do we have to be on this train?
Mother: A few minutes.
Preteen boy: Mommy! This is like when the Nazis took all those people to concentration camps!
Mother: Yeah, but they were German, these people are Irish.
–PATH Train
Overheard by: Shane
British tourist, passing by The Pink Tea Cup Southern restaurant: Oh, look–an urban menu!
–Bleecker & Grove
Young Asian tourist girl: You mean, there's not actually any fields?
–Strawberry Fields
Overheard by: Jason K.
Tourist, in thick Southern accent: I just don't understand how they turn the trains around so fast, and we don't see them do it!
–Grand Central Station, Shuttle Train
Overheard by: Sara
Tourist hick teen to others: Everybody's wearin' shoes!
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Elderly tourist being escorted to her seat: Oh! I hope we get a booth!
–Olive Garden
Overheard by: EthanK
Tourist to friend: No, we cannot go into a store. I cannot leave Broadway. How else would you expect me to get discovered?
–Time Square
