Woman: Are these Japanese dolls?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: Oh, are you Japanese?
Employee: No.
Woman: Are you sure?
–Union Square
Woman: Are these Japanese dolls?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: Oh, are you Japanese?
Employee: No.
Woman: Are you sure?
–Union Square
Woman walking into apartment building: Why did I get stuck carrying the bag of butt plugs?
–Greenpoint Ave
Hot girl on cell: You won't die if you get stabbed by a dildo. (pause) Well, even if it was a hooker. What did you drink?
–Cook St & Bushwick Ave
Overheard by: cameo
Homie on BlackBerry; No, no, peep this, I said "cock ring" and she says, "like the guy from the OJ trial?" I'm dead serious!
–Rockafeller Plaza
Attractive 20-something to friend: Got hit with a sex toy!
–Pillow Fight, Union Square
Overheard by: Anna P.
Girl to four friends: And then I saw my old wooden dildo. It was wooden!
–37th St & 8th Ave
20-something girl: This is the most exciting thing to happen today! And that's saying something, considering today was a day that included buying sex toys!
–Topshop
Obnoxious NYU girl to friends: Ew! He passed and was like “damn, look at that ass on that white girl!”
Ghetto man, passing by: Psh–what ass?
–Union Square
Lady: When you look in the mirror you should feel excited, not tolerant!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Stinerz
Dude: This weather! It’s a beautiful fucking night, isn’t it?
Chick: I know! It’s fucking amazing, it’s just so fucking sweet!
Dude: Yeah, it is fucking nice out, I wish I could take a piss — you know, somewhere outside — and not get arrested!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Old man to dog: You ain’t never goin’ to heaven if you keep pullin’ this shit!
After noticing other people listening: Well someone’s gotta say something!
–Thompkins Square Park dog run
Drunk dude #1: You see, the East Village is not so bad, you need to get out of the Upper East Side more often.
Drunk dude #2: Fuck you bro, the East Village smells like feet, unemployment, and Indian food.
–4th & Ave A
Overheard by: Ahmad Zubair Sahar
Woman on cell: Okay, but this time please stay out of my underwear drawer.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Jess
Overconfident guy: I know, I know. You say you have a 3.7 at NYU Law, and the panties just drop.
–Dorm, NYU Law
Overheard by: holdingbacklaughter
Little old lady on park bench to another: Well, I've been stuffing my bra now, and now I can't find my money.
–Central Park West & 63rd St
Overheard by: Jen
Woman: My dog only eats my underwear. He doesn't eat my son's. He doesn't eat my husband's. Only mine! I wonder why. (pauses to think) Hmm… it must be that feminine smell.
–E 40th St
Overheard by: TMI
Livid man on cell: No! You can't have your underwear back!
–Chelsea
Girl #1: But I've been eating so much lately!
Girl #2: Rachel. You are not pregnant.
Girl #1: Yes I ammmmm! (flails arms)
Girl #2: This reminds me of the time you were drunk and tried to run into traffic.
–Outside Virgin Records, 14th St
Suave guy: Where are you from?
Drunk girl: New Jersey!
Suave guy: Oh, yeah? That's cool!
–3rd Ave & 14th St
