Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
Lady: I was fighting with this guy and his dog was in the room; that dog bit me.
–Cobble Hill
Overheard by: d.luxxe
Girl: Do you ever think about us? Like, how many more of us there are than of you?
Professor guy: Of course. That’s why I always pack heat.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Jeff
Hag: I can’t imagine dropping off my brother at the airport all like, “I’m okay with never seeing you again ’cause you might die in battle.”
Queer: Well, at least he gets a whore.
Hag: What?
Queer: ‘Cause you know they get whores in wars.
Hag: What are you talking about?
Queer: Hello? World War II?
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Cheerleader girl #1: Terry, what are those people doing? Is that fake blood?
Cheerleader girl #2: I think they’re representing Chinese torture or something.
–51st & 7th
Overheard by: Alvin Cheung
Girl: What about that one ugly girl?
Guy: Man, she is so ugly. I would not touch that shit.
Girl: But you already fucked her!
Guy: Yeah, but it was only once. And I used a rubber.
Guy: You’re an ugly cheating cocksucking whore; you’re a fucking ugly slut. But you know why I stay with you? We have compatible personalities.
Guy: I hate that bitch. I want to fuck her in the ass.
Girl: But baby, you like to fuck me in the ass.
Guy: Yeah baby, but you like it when I fuck you in the ass.
Girl: Yeah, it doesn’t hurt so bad when you remember to breathe.
Girl: So when we get married are you gonna stop fucking my sister?
Guy: But I’ve been fucking her for a while now…It’s like a habit.
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Overheard by: helen r.
Doorman: Guns, man. I have too many guns.
–41st between 1st & 2nd
Asian girl: So he gave me directions to go meet him.
White guy: What? I ain’t goin there, that neighborhood is all Cripped out! I ain’t about to get shot!
Asian girl: Look, I can call a car service to pick us up at the train station if it’s that big of a deal.
White guy: Naw, I’m kiddin’, I’ll just stab ’em with a pen.
–Walgreens, 4th Avenue
Girl on cell: What, did she say she thought I was going to hit her or something?…There was a customer there!
–Broadway & 70th
Overheard by: Vanessa Robinson
Filthy man: You three ladies know this dude?
Girl #1: Uh, yeah.
Filthy man: Oh. Okay. ‘Cause I was about to pull out my AK47 and shoot him dead.
The elevator stops.
Filthy man: You all have a nice night.
–Hotel Carter, West 43rd Street
Overheard by: onesong
