Son Of a Wednesday One-Liner Man

Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!

–Broadway & Prince

Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?

–Fordham Plaza

Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him?

–St. Luke's Church, Whitestone

Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.

–E Train

Overheard by: Giggling at crack

Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Alfie

Posted on December 10, 2015
Abortion, All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Christianity, Christians, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Gays and Lesbians, God, God Squad, Hard Drugs, Jesus, On the Subway, One-liners, Preachers, Queens, Questions, Religion, Sex, Sexuality, Soho, Street, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Nobody Puts Baby in the Toilet!

Chick #1: Did I ever tell you about my friend's mom who had a baby in the toilet?
(awkward pause)
Chick #2: Now you're gonna tell it?

–Pomme Frite Restaurant

Posted on December 10, 2015
Babies, Default, Girls, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

We’re Immune to Gravity Now?

Woman on cell: I’m telling you, men just don’t have to go through anything like this. They just don’t. I fell at Dunkin’ Donuts today. I fell. I hadn’t eaten a thing all day.

–UES elevator

Posted on December 8, 2015
Buildings, Gender issues, Health and Hygiene, Idiots, On Cell, Weirdness, Women

Another Strike and You’re Out, Sweetheart

Woman: Hola! Una wheatgrass con ginger… Por favor!
Latina girl behind counter: Excuse me? You wanted what, exactly?
Woman: Ummm… A wheatgrass shot with ginger?
Girl: You do realize we don’t have that, don’t you?

–Juicy Lucy’s, Avenue A

Overheard by: JKS

Posted on December 7, 2015
Bartenders, Customers, Default, Languages, Latinos, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Women

Should We Be Discussing This in Public?

Teen chick #1: Yeah, but now they all like “woah!” and shit.
Teen chick #2: They all like “woah!”?
Teen chick #1: Yeah.

–Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Overheard by: dirtystan

Posted on December 7, 2015
Teens, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Words

Plus Her Status Updates Are More Interesting Than Ever

Graduate student #1: Should I remove the dead girl from my Facebook friends? It's kind of sad when she comes up.
Graduate student #2: No.
Graduate student #1: Why not?
Graduate student #2: Wouldn't it be even sadder if she was dead and had no Facebook friends?

–114th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Daniel

Posted on December 6, 2015
Advice, Death, Default, Facebook, Friendship, Questions, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

Sweet Georgia Brown Loves Basketball

Three-year-old girl: They got balls!
Mom: Balls?
Three-year-old girl: Yeeeeah!

–Globetrotters Game, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: amira

Posted on December 1, 2015
Balls, Glad the Condom Broke, Kids, Madison Square Garden, Moms, Weirdness

I Like to Braid It Using Only My Tongue

Woman with strong Southern accent: I am gonna have her bachelorette party in my apartment next weekend.
Husband: (nods)
Woman: But the goddamn stripper won't return my phone calls.
(waitress brings shots)
Woman: What is this?
Waitress: Tequila, on us.
Woman: This'll put hair on my boobies.
Husband's friends: That's just how he likes it.
Husband: (nods)

–Brother Jimmy's BBQ, Upper West Side