30-something woman: I thought you lived in Jersey.
30-something man: Do I look like I live in Jersey?
–William St & Platt
Overheard by: Brunni
30-something woman: I thought you lived in Jersey.
30-something man: Do I look like I live in Jersey?
–William St & Platt
Overheard by: Brunni
Urban man with bubble jacket: How do you say “animal” in Chinese? I think it's “dungkun” or “dungkuk”?
Chinese woman: You mean…husband?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Tom Fickle
Starbucks employee to disheveled looking woman: Because it is a federal offense, ma'am.
Disheveled looking woman: Did you just call me a bitch?
Starbucks employee: No, I said it is a federal offense.
Disheveled looking woman: No, you called me a bitch.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Valley
Man on cell: Well, at least my dick will finally seem bigger!
–Prince St. & W Broadway
Overheard by: Johnny
Puerto Rican lady on phone to pal: Yo, his dick was mad little, yo! My son's dick is bigger than that!
–Broadway & Havemeyer, Brooklyn
Teen on cell: And you have a small penis. And you're gay.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: And I Thought My Day Wasn't Going Well
Black gay guy on cell: I feel so sorry for guys with small penises. Here I am, with a 12 inch dick and I don't even use it.
–Penn Station
Man on cell: You're dumping me because my dick is 11 inches and it's too big? That doesn't make any sense!
–Lorimer & Maujer
Overheard by: was this a lame attempt to hit on me?
Petite yuppie on phone: Oh my god! It was so small I tried so hard not to laugh! But then I decided to boost his spirit and I said to him, "is it because it's cold in here?" (pause) Yeah, you're right, that couldn't have possibly boosted anything at all. Dinner was good, though.
–N Train
Overheard by: Mefisto
Conductor yelling in Indian accent: Please get in the train, it's not that crowded. (door closes and opens again) Get in the freaking train, it's not Mumbai, there is space, and keep you limbs inside the train, please!
–E Train
Overheard by: Ting
Loud man as doors open on a packed rush-hour train: What you need to do is…put out your hand and say, "no, you will not fit." And then, if that don't work, take your umbrella, and open it up.
–4 Train
Seated woman to older lady leaning over her: Lady, back your fupa up!
–F Train
Overheard by: pwolf
Conductor: This train is tooo crowded, folks. There is another train behind us that looks just like this one. Take a look at this train, then wait for something that looks just like it.
–6 Train
Little tourist boy: There are more people in here than in all of New York!
–Dillan's Candy Store
Extremely drunk guy: Hey, how ya doin'?
Sober woman: Fine, thanks. (pause) Hey, this is my stop…gotta go! (dashes off train)
Extremely drunk guy to extremely drunk friend, after a long pause: Hey, I coulda had her if I wanted. I coulda been like, “if this is your stop, then it's my stop too, baby, why dontcha come home with me?” But I don' want any company tonight. I wanna be all by myself…in my own place…in my own bed…all alone.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Man: I like that wooden thing. I like art that isn't painting.
Woman: You mean sculptures?
Man: Yeah, that's it–sculptures.
–Guggenheim Museum
Overheard by: Andy M
Woman: Looks like you guys got your drink on tonight.
Drunk frat boy: I don't drink–I'm the VP of programming!
–PATH
Overheard by: DBrickashaw
Monster Energy drink rep: Free energy drinks! (hands drink out)
20-something woman: I'll get my cancer elsewhere, thanks.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Queso
British female to sullen guy: Hey! What's wrong, chap? Buck up! Go on, buck up! Buck up! (sullen guy stops and looks her way)
Sullen guy, in heavy New York accent: Fuck…off.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Dropping Eaves
