Little boy looking on ground while holding toy: Have you seen the golden screw?
Nanny: Oh honey, we’re all looking for that.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Let me know when you find it
Little boy looking on ground while holding toy: Have you seen the golden screw?
Nanny: Oh honey, we’re all looking for that.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Let me know when you find it
Elderly janitor, watching pierced teenagers get in line: I'm gonna fart on one of these people.
–Broadway & Houston
Angry man on cell: They think they're so perfect, but I bet they piss and burp and fart like the rest of us.
–80th St & 34th Ave
Hobo: Can you spare some change? I need to buy some new underwear, I farted and shat in these.
–83rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: new girl in town
Tiny brunette: Have you ever had to pee so bad, and suddenly you fart and then you don't have to pee that badly anymore?
–7 Train
Young woman to friend: Yeah, and then she started fartin' a bunch. But she was farting out of her pussy. And Ashley got pissed, cause then, she started makin' a beat out of it.
–125th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Stephen
Woman with nasal voice: I just really need to get out of here, I'd prefer to go someplace warm and interesting. But I don't know where it's warm and interesting.
Yuppie man: My boss–well, I guess I should say “my partner,” cause I made partner…but it sounds so (sexual voice) homosexual to say “my partner randy”…anyway, he just came back from Argentina and he loved it.
Woman with nasal voice: Oh! I just went to Argentina, actually. And then to Uruguay. We went to this little town, it was pretty much the Hamptons of South America.
–Barnes & Nobles, E 86th St
(about the Sex and the City movie)
Woman #1 : Yeah, I never saw the series but I think I'll still understand the movie.
Woman #2: Oh, yeah. I watched the whole series 'til the end.
Woman #1: Which one's Carrie?
Woman #2: Sarah Parker is Carrie. Yeah, and she was with this guy for a loooooong time. A loooong long time.
Woman #1: Yeah?
Woman #2: Yeah, they call him “Mista bits.”
Woman #1: What do they call him?
Woman #2: Mista bits.
–Downtown E Train
Overheard by: E
Female MTA employee: I ain’t seen you in forever! Did you start working nights again?
Male MTA employee: Yeah… It was alright. But then I got bored, so I started watching soap operas again. I can’t believe Tad still looks the same.
Female MTA employee: Shit, you like him?
Male MTA employee: Hell yeah, I’m OG.
–4th Ave & 9th St station
Overheard by: Tacologic
30’s artist-type woman #1: Ok, so he was a decade younger. But I have an excuse!
30’s artist-type woman #2: His penis excused his age?
30’s artist-type woman #1: Well, I think it grew a half inch per year since the day he was born.
–9th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lauren
Man: So I have a great New York Story for you!
Woman: Well, you are the New Yorker, let’s hear it…
Man: Well, I went to the bathroom the other day, and you’ll never guess what happened!…You will never guess what happened to me in the bathroom the other day!…My cell phone came flying out of my pocket and got totally soaked! Cingular was like, “That phone is dead.”
–85th & CPW
(a soprano is singing an opera aria in her apartment on the 4th floor)
Random man on street (screaming up to the window): Girl, you're not even gonna sing the high note?! Pussy!
Soprano (screaming out the window): Everyone's a fucking critic!
–Inwood
Man, in Los Angeles: Cialdini’s Influence is the classic psychological book about how and why people are convinced.
Woman: Ah, I should read that so I can learn to convince myself of things.
Lady: …and a half-pound of roasted brussels sprouts with peas.
Counter guy: Those are actually pearl onions, ma’am.
Lady: Well, the sign says peas.
Counter guy: I’m terribly sorry, ma’am, but the person who made that sign is an idiot…No really, that’s her over there. Complete dipshit.
–Gourmet Garage, 7th Avenue
Overheard by: Jamie Lloyd
