Little kid, holding out french fry: Patata!
Hick woman: Patoota? What's that?
Hick man: Little kids' word.
–Belgian Beer Bar, 75th & 2nd
Overheard by: Even my Spanish isn't that bad
Little kid, holding out french fry: Patata!
Hick woman: Patoota? What's that?
Hick man: Little kids' word.
–Belgian Beer Bar, 75th & 2nd
Overheard by: Even my Spanish isn't that bad
Worker: … Just stick it in your pocket. I mean, seven inches isn’t bad.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy: So I tried to set my password to "Penis".
Girl: […]Guy: It said my password wasn’t long enough.
–66th & Broadway
College kid to girlfriend: You make me feel sometimes like ten inches isn’t enough.
–12th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Strand Customer
Asian girl on cell: It’s six inches. [Laughs.] Wait… What’s six inches?
–CUNY Queensborough
Drunk guy pissing against wall, on cell: I got my dick out at 14th street! Yeah, it’s 14 inches!
–Union Square
Teen girl #1: Ooh, you know what I’m gonna name my first baby?
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: Nuh-vey-uh.
Teen girl #2: What is that?
Teen girl #1: It’s Heaven backwards. It’s so good because nobody ever thought of that before.
–6 train
Overheard by: Alex C
Old lady: You spelled “candle” wrong.
Employee: What?
Old lady: You spelled “candle” wrong on one of your signs. Give me a piece of paper and I’ll fix it for you.
Employee: It’s okay.
Old lady (getting extremely angry): No, it is not okay. This is inappropriate and you need to fix it.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: just buying some shampoo
Ghetto guy #1: Who do you think is better, Bernie Mac or Mr. T?
Ghetto guy #2: Obviously Mr. T. He uses pronouns more efficiently.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Jesse Patrick
Catholic School boy #1: Man, I can call a bitch a bitch if I wanna call her a bitch.
Catholic School girl: Nah, you can’t call a girl a bitch. It’s offensive, stupidass.
Catholic School boy #2: Yeah man, I don’t call ’em bitch no more. Now, I call ’em broads.
Catholic School boy #1: Nah, I ain’t callin’ you a bitch cause you bitchin’. I’m calling you a bitch cause that’s just what you call ’em. It’s a colloquialism.
–6 train
Overheard by: Jacob Feldman
Handsome thug: Damn, girl, you catch a nigga lookin’ like that.
Confused white hipster girl: Um, thanks?
–Fulton St, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Bed-Stuy Do or Die
Five-year-old child: Is this our stop, mommy?
Mother: No sweetie, this is the ghetto. Never get off here.
(two people sitting across give them dirty looks as they leave the train)
–Metro-North, Harlem
Overheard by: getting off at the 125th street stop
Southern man: What the hell is a steak free-tes?
Southern woman: Oh honey, it’s a chicken fried steak and they probably serve it with grits. This is where famous people come to eat like real human beings.
Southern man: Well hell, they should call it somethin’ more respectable than Pasties.
–Pastis, 9th & Little W. 12th
Overheard by: Jack B. Nimble
Spanish chick #1: Some people are so stupid.
Spanish chick #2: You know what I’m saying?
Spanish chick #3: I’m studying psychology with a friend of mine and he said that this kid he knows got caught stealing but–get this, right?–the kid said he is not a thief he is just a kleptomaniac.
–Clothing store, 106th & 3rd
Overheard by: pimsluer
