Guy: Hey, this might sound creepy but I have a picture of you on my wall.
Jon Stewart: That is creepy. Do you live in a comedy club?

–Cupcake Cafe, 18th & 26th

Woman, texting: How do you pluralize “uterus”?

–TKTS Booth

Overheard by: DramaPirate

Kids entertainer, singing: Do you know what a co‐creator is? To create is to make something, and when you co‐create, you do it together…

–Kindergarten party, Williamsburg

Cashier with cookbook: It’s got a table of continents so you can see what’s in it!

–Department Store, 225th St

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Student: I just love adding “izzle” to the end of words.


Coworker: UPS didn’t have the tracking information at first, but then they found it… Good thing, because I was about to blow a casket.

–Fordham University

Actor #1: Shit! Shit! Fuck! Motherfucking son of a bitch!
Actor #2: He’s just mad because Britney shaved her head.

–Ripley‐Grier Studios

Overheard by: Cara

Middle‐aged actress #1: I just spent six thousand dollars on chemotherapy for my 13‐year‐old cat.
Middle‐aged actress #2: Oh, I have a great homeopathic vet. What kind of cancer did she have?
Middle‐aged actress #1: Breast cancer. She had a full mastectomy.

–Bank St & 8th Ave

50‐something actress: I’m one of the founding sluts.

–Chelsea Studios

Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants

Guy on cell: That’s what I said: I fucked him, but I’m not attracted to him.

–81st & Columbus

Overheard by: Flooey

Adorable seven‐year‐old kid on bike: She liked it. Ashley liked it. Ashley’s a whore.

–Havemeyer & 2nd, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Nathalie & Noah

Girl on cell: Well, I’m in a different place now. Now I’m a slut.

–W 4th & 6th Ave

Teenage girl on cell, beaming, as if she just had a revelation: Oh, I forgot you’re a whore! (yelling triumphantly) You’re a whore!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Emilia

Girl: I hate clowns.
Clown guy: We hate you too.

–Church Avenue F station

Overheard by: sarah 

Bearish guy: Did I tell you I got a lead in a film?
Friend: No. Congratulations!
Bearish guy: Yeah, it’s a bear film – but it’s not a porn!

–23rd & 8th

Overheard by: Daniel

Bored Guest: When are we going to get out of here? Don’t tell me in two hours. I’d rather get out of here in three hours than in two hours. If I have to go over that bridge during rush hour, I’ll shoot myself and then jump. I’ll be falling with a gun to my head.

Style Court Plaintiff Room

Actor speaking on his cell phone on the subway: “I’m starring in a play called Andorra, about a fictional country in Europe.”

20‐something Midwestern actress type transplant #1: Yeah, I was told by one of my drama teachers once, way back in school, that I had the “passion and commitment to theater” that Hitler had.
(five‐second pause)
20‐something Midwestern actress type transplant #2: Wow!
20‐something Midwestern actress type transplant #1: No, it wasn’t a compliment, she didn’t like me very much.

–Chinese Restaurant, Astoria