Son: Can I have a grape soda?
Mother: When you're 12.
Son: When I'm… 10?
Mother: When you brush you teeth better.
–49th St
Overheard by: Justin
Son: Can I have a grape soda?
Mother: When you're 12.
Son: When I'm… 10?
Mother: When you brush you teeth better.
–49th St
Overheard by: Justin
Girl: How old is that guy?
Guy: Who, Bono? 40, 45.
Girl: Oh, and where are they from, England?
–7 train
Overheard by: Jack Kennedy
Black chick #1: So you didn’t get the job?
Black chick #2: Nah, I fucked up. I shouldn’t have told them I drank when I was younger. I really didn’t drink.
–26th & 7th
Overheard by: max
Guy #1: I was like, ‘You can’t oooh me! You’re three years younger than me! I could be your dad!’
Guy #2: No, you couldn’t…
Guy #1: Well, not biologically…
–Columbia University
Angry male #1: She's sixteen years old, you fuck! Sixteen!
Angry male #2: Well, I didn't know that!
Female: I told you last night!
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: heard this from the 8th floor
Old man: Enjoy your looks while you still have them.
Girl: Oh, we’ve got a long time before we have to start worrying.
Old man: No, you don’t. Just remember: men age, women rot.
–12th & B
HS girl #1: I’m just so tired of school boys.
HS girl #2: Yeah. Me too. I’m pretty much all about investment bankers now.
HS girl #1: Oh my god. I’m so going to invite you to my next investment banker party.
–78th & Lex
20-something grad student #1: You can't sleep with her! Dude, she's in high school!
20-something grad student #2: Dude, she's 18!
20-something grad student #1: Dude…oh…well… Carry on!
–114th St & Broadway
Overheard by: S.W.
Headline by: S.T.
Runners-Up:
· “Bill Finally Accepted That Ted Would Be Having an Excellent Adventure Without Him” – lex
· “Dude, Her Myspace Page Wouldn’t Lie” – the trayster
· “Ethics Majors Cram for Their Final Exams.” – Sandy Paws
· “If She Can’t Get Into College, at Least College Can Get Into Her.” – Matthew N
· “Plus, There’s the Extra Money for Tutoring Her for the SATs” – Steve
· “Then Why Is She a Sophomore?” – Mikey
Little girl to people waiting to board plane: You want a grandma? We have hundreds of grandmas here.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: detective olivia benson
Grandma, about child running with others: He runs faster than… than a little shit.
–Alice in Wonderland Statue, Central Park
Mom to kid: Do you know that purse I stole from Grandma? Hide it. She’s coming over.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jeff
Grandma: If I was 50, boy, I’d be nifty. [Granddaughter stares blankly.] Yeah, if I was 50, I’d wear a leather bustiere.
–C train
Woman on payphone: I don’t care if Johnny was fucking his cousin, that don’t give you the right to steal your grandma’s credit cards!
–125th & Lex
Drunk Hispanic teen: How do I get to Times Square?
Older white lady: I am not sure… Maybe two stops. [Teen whispers to her.] Good Lord, no! I am old enough to be your mother!
–F train, 57th St
