Adam Smith's “Invisible Hand” at Work

Old grimy man to cute young bartender: Will you marry me?
Bartender: No!
Old man: I'll pay you.
Bartender: How much?
Old man: $30,000.
Bartender: Ummm… No, I would need at least 3 million.
Old man (shaking his head and talking to himself): I don't get it. It's just not fair. $30,000 is a lot of money.

–Cobblestones Pub

Overheard by: kapnasty

Headline by: hearer

Runners-Up:
· “From the Pilot for “X-Rated Price Is Right”” – BobBugger
· “Just Go Home, Mr. Hefner.” – playgeezer
· “The Market Ain’t What It Used to Be” – Rob
· “Well If You Won’t Marry Me, Will You at Least Be My Running Mate?” – Michelle
· “When Did Heather Mills Start Bartending?” – Paul Ferris

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on September 18, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Compare/Contrast, Headline Contest Winners, Marriage, Men, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Old People, Queens, Questions, Wishes & desires

Meet the Author of How to Make a Straight Guy Shut Up

Guy at bar: I’m sorry if I’m being an asshole.
Gay bartender: Oh, don’t worry -I deal with assholes all the time.

–Montien, 12th & 3rd

Posted on July 27, 2008
Apologies, Asshole, Bartenders, Customers, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Innuendo, Insults, Queer guys, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village, Words

Well, Sometimes We Toast Them.

Waiter from Minnesota: Yeah, check it out! Minnesota is the 2nd healthiest-eating state!
Bartender from Brooklyn: What do you eat in Minnesota?
Waiter: Well, there are a lot of Scandinavians there so we eat like, you know, sandwiches.
Bartender: (silence)
Waiter: What?
Bartender: You’re actually serious, aren’t you?

–Greenwich Ave & 7th Ave

Overheard by: TrigStarr

Posted on July 19, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Coworkers, Default, Food, Health and Hygiene, Questions, U.S. Geography, Waiters, West Village

She Has a Nice Asian Personality

Female bartender: I forgot to tell you, I hired a new bartender. She will be here tonight.
Male bartender: Oh. Is she cute?
Female bartender: Well… She’s Asian.
Male bartender: Oh. Asian Asian or cute Asian?
Female bartender: Ehhh… you know.

–Broadway Theater

Posted on July 17, 2008
Bartenders, Beauty, Default, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Race, Theater, Women

As the Warning Label Explains

Bartender to DJ: This is the kind of music gay guys listen to when they get drunk and accidentally fuck their girlfriends.
DJ, over music: What?
Bartender: This is the kind of music gay guys listen to when they get drunk and accidentally fuck their girlfriends!

–Lit Lounge

Overheard by: waiting for my drink

Posted on May 15, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Default, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Music, Musicians, Sex, Union Square and East Village

…Toasting Him at Other Bars

Man on barstool: I want to toast my friend who passed away.
Bartender, as he slides glass to man: Oh geez, sorry to hear that. When did he die?
Man: Four years ago.
Bartender: Four years ago… And you are just now…
Man: I’ve been busy.

–3rd Ave Bar, near 37th

Overheard by: Paul

Posted on May 3, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Death, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Friendship, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Time, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Announced He’s Making the Full Court Press against Terror

Traveller: Can you put on CBS so we can watch the basketball?
Bartender: It’s not on.
Traveller: Really? It should be…
Bartender: Yeah, it *was* on, but then that guy came on to talk. You know, that guy, what’s his name? The president?

–Bar, JFK Terminal 7

Overheard by: NCS