Man #1: You dropped your glove, sir.
Man #2: That’s how they caught O.J. Simpson, man!
–34th between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Queenie
Man #1: You dropped your glove, sir.
Man #2: That’s how they caught O.J. Simpson, man!
–34th between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Queenie
Sulky waitress at family restaurant, complaining about management: I could be home right now having a threesome, but Chris won't let me leave.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Inkling
35-year-old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh-em-gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.
–R Train
Overheard by: Abby and Holly
20-something college boy: I mean, there's no "I" in "threesome."
–Union Square
Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven't decided what guy I would tag-team a girl with yet.
–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd
African American guy to hipster girl: It was the worst orgy I've ever been to. Nothing but kids and clothes everywhere you looked.
–48th St & Broadway
Overheard by: RevLina, The Pain-Proof Girl
Black woman: This here is Chelsea. It’s where all the rich homosexuals live.
–18th Street between 7th & 8th
Teenage kid: There are some hot Chinese bitches at this stop, son!
–Fulton Street G station
Overheard by: Thomas Bugarin
Woman: Well, I’m in Soho now…
–Union Square
Overheard by: Davis McDavis
Queer: Oh, I went to Queens once. By accident. I was coming back from La Guardia and the taxi driver said he was taking me on a shortcut.
–Starlight, Avenue A
Overheard by: Lukas
Thug: Next stop: Ghettoville, USA! That’s real America, none of this Japanese-American bullshit. Mmmm…smell that? Smells like the East Village!
–A train
Guy: This is the new Wall Street Times building.
–41st & 8th construction site
Man: See, that’s the one. If I was gonna write it a letter, I would begin, “Dear Ugliest Building in New York City”.
–Westin Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: Kayla Cagan
Guy on cell: Bond Street? It’s north of Houston Street so it’s not in Soho. But I don’t know what the neighborhood is called.
–City Hall Park
Black guy: Why would a young black girl dye her hair blonde? Looks terrible, y’know.
Whitey: Um, yeah. Bad idea.
Black guy: Bitch looked like a burnt grilled cheese sandwich.
–One Penn Plaza
Obese black man #1 playing loud obscene rap song: What she looking at? (points to two old Russian women at the front of bus) Man, these white people. Don't they know this is a free fuckin' country?
Obese black man #2: Yeah, I'm tellin you, now that Obama's elected, white people are gonna know what the fuck's up.
–Q63 Bus
Overheard by: filemeunder
Black dude: Word, son. It didn’t rain the whole time I was in California. No rain for a whole month. There was sun and clouds — you would love it. The roads are crazy — driving there is mad good, yo. They’re all big and you can speed and the cops won’t pull you over because there is so much other illegal– well they got all those illegal aliens, the eses and pisanos.
Friend: Word?
Black dude: But they don’t have stop signs. Like, you know, in New York they got those big red stop signs, but in California it’s all written on the floor.
–Q Train
Young black girl: What are all them white people doing all the way up here?
Young black girl's mother: White folk like to drink out of little cups and sit outside with them bug-eyed sunglasses on Sundays.
–Café, Lenox & 119th
White guy, feeling shirt material: This is nice. What kind of fabric is this shirt?
Black guy: It’s, uh… grey.
White guy: Grey? That shit’s not a material!
–Century 21
Black teen to drag queen: Yo, I can see your Adam’s apple, nigga!
Friend: Shhh, don’t say the N-word, we’re surrounded by white people!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: jesse michael klein
Black girl on bluetooth headset: You want everyone to suck yo dick, dontcha? Dontcha?! You want everyone to suck yo dick!
–W. 59th & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Alexandra
Twelve-year-old guido, near tears, doubled over in the street screaming on his cell phone: You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job! You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job!
–Brooklyn
20 something blonde on cell: … Is that normal? [Pause.] No, it’s different every time, like it almost disappears… Then another time its all swinging and shit… Is that normal? [Listens.]Oh no! Thats just fine, like it gags me when … [Mumbles.]
–LIRR
Manager to employee: You are a cock guzzling thundercunt!
–Chelsea
Gay guy, to his friend: I mean…I may suck dick but at least I don’t take it up the ass.
–16th & 9th
Woman: Short of blowing him in MoMa, I really don’t know how to get his attention.
–A Train
Overheard by: Why MoMa?
