Slutty girl to friend: It's better that I get tested, right? Rather than just waiting to fuck someone and having them tell me?
Friend: Yeah, probably.
–Elevator, 4th Ave
Overheard by: oh really…
Slutty girl to friend: It's better that I get tested, right? Rather than just waiting to fuck someone and having them tell me?
Friend: Yeah, probably.
–Elevator, 4th Ave
Overheard by: oh really…
Guido to another: She actually shaves between sex and shit.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Belladonna Wexhome
Middle-aged Guido: Nobody gives tricks any more, only treats. I remember when I was a kid. I used to get shaving cream in my face.
–78th St & West End
Overheard by: jess_stang
Guy coming out of Beeswax screening: I will not bow to the hegemony of the razor.
–BAM Cinemafest
Girl to friend and boyfriend: I definitely prefer a female gynecologist to a male one. Mine is a really old woman, and she's great! She just says to me, "I am shaving you." My lips are really big!
–E 7th St
Overheard by: Evan
Subway conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are being held up by dispatch because we have a sloooooooow moving "a" train. Thank you for your patience. And don't forget, blame the "a" train; it ain't our fault.
–D Train
Overheard by: Alice
Conductor: We currently are waiting behind another 7 train… Slow movin' bastards.
–7 Train
Overheard by: They really were
Conductor: You do not want to take the 4 or the 5, because they will not be setting any land speed records.
–6 Train
Jaded MTA conductor: We're being delayed because of signal problems up ahead. There's a train in like every station. Because of the cold weather we've got signal issues; we're moving as fast as we can, it just might take a while. MTA: "might take a while."
–W Train
Old queer on cell: Okay, well I'll be watching the Mets game, or the Jets game, whatever you call it… What do they call it when you men all sit together and can't talk?
–Broadway & 103rd St
Iranian tourist to street performer: We don't have a vote but we have a basketball team!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: RAR!
Subway conductor: This is the uptown "d" express train, making all express stops in Manhattan and The Bronx, including 161st Street, so the Yankees can host the Minnesota Twins. We'd like to welcome all Detroit Tigers fans riding with us–shame you couldn't bring your team.
–Uptown D Train
Female sports fan: A-Rod's back baby! Kate Hudson has a magic pussy!
–Pub, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: Pub crawler
Teenage girl to group of attentive friends: If leprechauns could play basketball, they would.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Ticket seller to woman, about toddler: Well, he can come, but there is, you know… Subject matter.
Woman, sighing: The boy watches SpongeBob.
–Fela! Box Office
Overheard by: Patrick
Girl #1: And that's how I made his dick look like a Christmas tree.
Girl #2, excitedly clapping: Decoupage!
–Midtown
Girl: No way! How do you know?
Guy: Because my roommate heard them having sex! Apparently, he screams like a girl.
–Union Square
Overheard by: MASHI
Large black woman to friend: So like, he's totally gonna bring Randi's hot sister to the x-mas party! Score for Matt!
Black dude passing by: Ewww, you sound like a white girl.
–125th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Miss Ivy
Girl, pushing stroller: Jesus, it's so cold out! My nipples are like icicles.
Friend: My nipples are always icy.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: LeAnne
Little boy, throwing tantrum in the street: Dad, my feet hurt. I can't walk anymore!
Dad: Yeah, well, my testicles hurt. Come on!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Colleen
