Woman: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!
Man: I take it back.
–26th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Woman: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!
Man: I take it back.
–26th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
20-something #1: Men don't kiss whores, they fuck 'em! There's no attachment at all!
20-something #2: What the hell are you talking about?! There's attachment! The dicks are attached to the pussy!
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Sienna
Ghetto mother, about daughter: She hard on herself when it comes to her grades. That comes from her father. I told him, "you better stop that, or else you're gonna bust her brain."
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Raven
Truant girl on cell: I didn't! (pause) No, I didn't! (pause) I didn't skip! (pause) I didn't go! It's not the same thing! (pause) No, it isn't! (pause) I didn't go anyplace! I didn't go to somebody's house or nothing! (pause) It's not the same! I didn't skip! I just didn't go! (pause) No, it's not the same! It is not!
–8th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: stephie
Proctor, seeing a student come into testing room: Hey, aren't you that kid who was smokin' yesterday? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're the one that flipped me the bird! Now I have yo' name and yo' ID numba, and I can call up yo' parents… Today is just my lucky day!
–Stuyvesant High School
Long Island guy: I can't wait to get back to college. The girls there are so hot. I can't wait to get my DNA on em, know what I'm sayin'?
–LIRR
Indian chick on cell: What's good? I'm not taking Hindi anymore, that's what's good! Hellll fuckin yeahhh! Whoooo!!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: me neither
Young barista to another, peeling a banana: You like your women like you like your bananas.
–Bedford Ave
Man outside fry place: They don't sell watermelon here. I read the menu three times, and no watermelon.
–Pomme Frites, 2nd Ave
Dude on cell: Banana. Banana banana banana banana. Banana.
–Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
30-something suit to another: If I'm hungry I'll eat a banana, but I can't eat more than one. Because bananas, like, annoy me.
–Metro-North Harlem Line
Employee: All natural mango juice, on sale for 66… no, 69 cents off the regular price.
(customer walks away, uninterested) Where do you think you're going?
–Whole Foods
Overheard by: Sac
Young teen boy #1: If you like the pussy, you gay nigga. You only straight if you like dick. Box-eatin' nigga.
Young teen boy #2: That's, like, the coolest shit I ever heard.
–Troutman & Central, Bushwick
Overheard by: john.ainley
Slutty girl to friend: It's better that I get tested, right? Rather than just waiting to fuck someone and having them tell me?
Friend: Yeah, probably.
–Elevator, 4th Ave
Overheard by: oh really…
Guido to another: She actually shaves between sex and shit.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Belladonna Wexhome
Middle-aged Guido: Nobody gives tricks any more, only treats. I remember when I was a kid. I used to get shaving cream in my face.
–78th St & West End
Overheard by: jess_stang
Guy coming out of Beeswax screening: I will not bow to the hegemony of the razor.
–BAM Cinemafest
Girl to friend and boyfriend: I definitely prefer a female gynecologist to a male one. Mine is a really old woman, and she's great! She just says to me, "I am shaving you." My lips are really big!
–E 7th St
Overheard by: Evan
Subway conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are being held up by dispatch because we have a sloooooooow moving "a" train. Thank you for your patience. And don't forget, blame the "a" train; it ain't our fault.
–D Train
Overheard by: Alice
Conductor: We currently are waiting behind another 7 train… Slow movin' bastards.
–7 Train
Overheard by: They really were
Conductor: You do not want to take the 4 or the 5, because they will not be setting any land speed records.
–6 Train
Jaded MTA conductor: We're being delayed because of signal problems up ahead. There's a train in like every station. Because of the cold weather we've got signal issues; we're moving as fast as we can, it just might take a while. MTA: "might take a while."
–W Train
Old queer on cell: Okay, well I'll be watching the Mets game, or the Jets game, whatever you call it… What do they call it when you men all sit together and can't talk?
–Broadway & 103rd St
Iranian tourist to street performer: We don't have a vote but we have a basketball team!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: RAR!
Subway conductor: This is the uptown "d" express train, making all express stops in Manhattan and The Bronx, including 161st Street, so the Yankees can host the Minnesota Twins. We'd like to welcome all Detroit Tigers fans riding with us–shame you couldn't bring your team.
–Uptown D Train
Female sports fan: A-Rod's back baby! Kate Hudson has a magic pussy!
–Pub, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: Pub crawler
Teenage girl to group of attentive friends: If leprechauns could play basketball, they would.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Ticket seller to woman, about toddler: Well, he can come, but there is, you know… Subject matter.
Woman, sighing: The boy watches SpongeBob.
–Fela! Box Office
Overheard by: Patrick
