Mom to three-year-old daughter: Does it make you feel nice and happy and yummy and lovely when you go on the computer all day, or does it make you feel icky and sticky and ugly and stupid?
Three-year-old daughter, thinking: Ummmm… it depends.
–E 86th St
Overheard by: Sarah
Tween girl #1: That Britney Spears perfume smells like slut.
Tween girl #2: I know! It smells like my mom!
–Canal St
Overheard by: ouch
Male yuppie to female yuppie: So milfs are totally in right now.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Lolita
20-something male yuppie, surrounded with Starbucks coffee containers and yelling at laptop: It took you six fucking minutes to get to the fucking page! Rawwwr! I'm going to rip you apart, you stupid fucking computer! Rawwr!
–Starbucks
Yuppie-hipster mom, to sobbing toddler: Yeah, I know, your life is just so tough.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: It's because those hemp diapers you make her wear chafe like hell.
Yuppie woman: This is like the Third World!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam Chalek
Happy old drunk guy, to no one in particular: Eldridge Street, god bless us, every one! Eldridge street!
–Eldridge Street & Broome Street
Drunk girl to friend: There she goes! Being all Rosa Parks, as usual, saving her tribe …
–2nd Ave b/w 5th & 6th
Drunk girl outside bar: If I ever have children, I want them to be as fucked up as I am!
–West Village
Overheard by: AsherO
Drunk girl: I'm so hungry I could eat a dick!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: teagle
Loud drunk girl at table with friends: Ashton sat on my lovesack!
–Blockheads
Blonde to brunette: So that made it even worser… Worser? More worse? Or is it just worse? Noooo. Worser. Or just worse? No! More worse. Worser?
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Agitated young man: I was dramatized by all dat what just happen … dramatized, son. Dramatized.
–Hospital, 10th Ave
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Obese woman pushing stroller: Yo! I told you I don't wanna hear noes, ifs, ants, or buts about it.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: john ainley
Young French lady: We are gonna weaponised a pumpkin!
–French Consulate, Upper East Side
Overheard by: James
Girl on cell: Okay, how do I put this delicately? (pause) Yeah, I don't think I can. Here's the difference between you and me: when I hear that a guy I like is riddled with STDs, I cut off all ties and stop thinking of him as a potential sexual conquest. (pause) Alright, dude, but don't come crying to me when you get your first outbreak.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: tatunit
20-something girl: I swear to god: if I get syphilis, I'm spreading it.
–Penn Station
Girl on cell phone: Yeah, and then the lady asked me to take off my pants because she wanted to do an examination. Well, I freaked because it's like a fucking jungle down there, and I wasn't expecting the exam. It was alright, though, the poster in front of me with disgusting images of vaginas with warts and cysts and stuff gave me comfort that the situation could be a lot more embarrassing.
–NYU Health Center
Girl on cell: I didn't say anything about your sister having herpes!
–Hunter College
Crazy health teacher: Now I am going to speak about sexually transmitted diseases. I know this is a subject which you enjoy. (students laugh) What? It is true. Everyone begins to grow excited when I speak of this subject.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Teen boy: No, I can't hide a bottle there. She makes me do it with the door open. She'll see.
Teen friend: She's going to watch you pee?
Teen boy: No, I have my back to her, but she'll notice a bottle. Maybe I can use a Visine bottle.
Teen friend: Just tell her that a positive result is good and negative is bad.
–B1 Bus
Vally girl #1: I looove ellen Egenerous, she is soooooo funny.
Vally girl #2: Yeah!
Vally girl #1: I hate Dr Phil, he is soooo mean, but I looooove Opera, I mean love her. Why did she copyright her name? I mean, why?
–A Train
Overheard by: Chris DeLuca
Girl #1: I don't get it, but like… Are there two suns?
Girl #2: Pardon?
Girl #1: I dunno. But the sun here is so much hotter than where I'm from.
Girl #2: Oh my god. Shhh!
–5th Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl: I'm not going to pretend that things are fine when they are not. You don't have feelings for me.
Guy: Don't say I don't have feelings. I have feelings for you, they are just in a different category.
–59th St & Lexington
