Old lady being pushed into the train: Young man, you are crushing my package.
Young man: Lady, you're crushing my package, too.
–1 Train
Old lady being pushed into the train: Young man, you are crushing my package.
Young man: Lady, you're crushing my package, too.
–1 Train
Girl #1: …like that time we saw Zack and Miri make a porno.
Girl #2: That was pretty deep.
Girl #1: But not as deep as Cancun.
Girl #2: True, true.
–Times Square
Girl to gay guy: If you were a bird, you would totally be one that wore a tuxedo every day.
Gay guy: Lets go to the Bronx Zoo.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: CBro
Girl #1: The Wiz is so much better than The Wizard of Oz!
Girl #2: That's 'cause there ain't no white people in it.
Girl #1: True…true.
–57th & 6th
Overheard by: Ross
Guy #1 (reading newspaper): The fattest city in America: Virginia.
Guy #2: That's not a city.
Guy #1: Oh. I meant West Virginia.
Guy #2: That's still not a city.
–112th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: It's not?
Preppy girl: Oh my god! I swear, she's like the biggest prep I have ever seen in my entire life!
Man, sitting down: I got my share of irony for today.
–Q16 Bus
Headline by: EddieA
Runners-Up:
· “And I Didn’t Have to Wait for the L or the J” – Elsie Norma
· “And I Haven’t Even Been to Williamsburg Yet” – Kaitlen
· “Beats the Shit Out Of That Whole “Black Fly in Your Chardonnay” Thing” – mac
· “It’s Because She’s Blind, Right?” – tatts
· “Take THAT Alanis Morissette” – my meter’s pegged
· “That Day Bob Realized He Didn’t Need the Supplements After All” – subtleglow
· “Yeah, but She Had TWO Sweaters Over Her Shoulders” – Mary
· “You Need to Build Up Hipster-Level Tolerances to Handle Stuff Like This” – Jeff
20-something, beating his chest and coughing: John, don't die…you're too young, you're too beautiful, the world needs you to stay alive!
–55th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Girl on phone: I just don't see why he doesn't want to do me.
–NYU
Lab assistant on phone: I mean, I love the way I look. And they way I talk…well, that's fine. But that laugh? Dear god.
–NYU Computer Lab
Overheard by: meli$$a
Man on cell: So that's it? You're genetically superior to her, case closed?
–5th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: Prof. Creepyhugz
Tall black guy to shorter, buff black guy: It's not about your looks or the way you're built: you've got charisma, you've got something that draws people to you. I know because I've got it too.
–Planet Sushi, Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Suze V
Female student, walking in: Okay! The princess is back and she feels ten pounds lighter!
–Borough Manhattan Community College Computer Lab
Overheard by: Steve
Teenage girl to friends: How many babies can you squish into an oversized Ferrari?
–W 77th & Central Park West
Overheard by: Teddy Nicholas
Bartender: Can you imagine living somewhere where you actually have to drive home after work?
–Vintage Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: GretaGarbo86
Dude eating lunch with friends: Man, I hate to say it, but I love driving drunk.
–Restaurant, Bleecker & Lafayette
Gay black man to another: First of all, that fender bender you had a block away from your house was not a car accident. My three-car-pile-up was a car accident!
–A Train
Six-year-old to mom: What? An actual person who drinks and drives and she's famous? She's been in movies and she drinks and drives?! What is happening to this world?
–13th St & 5th Ave
Random wannabe thug: Yo, we seen a NYPD car get hit by a harpoon!
–Montgoris Dining Hall, St. John's University
Overheard by: Craig
Old lady to young man helping her carry heavy bags: What a nice gentleman! Thank you!
Young man: I am not from here. If you go to Texas, you would not have to carry bags anymore!
–Midtown
Overheard by: SH
Woman to friend: I woke up, and he was fucking my ear! Fucking my ear! Fuck. Ing. My. Ear!
–Walker & Canal
Overheard by: office peon
Girl on cell: So yeah, he just kinda turned to her, handed her some napkins and told her to prepare herself for a good fingering.
–New Jersey Transit
Girl in school hallway: Nasty little tenth graders having sex in the stairwells…
–Bard High School Early College
Guy to another: There's only three things people need in this world. Sex. Food. (pause) Yeah, okay, that's it.
–125th & Lexington
Student #1: (makes elaborate point with with ample hand gesticulation)
Student #2: Oh wow. You just made love to me with words.
–113th & Broadway
Crazy lady: Santa ain't comin' to Brooklyn! And I'll be drunk tomorrow, don't you ring my bell! (gets off train and leaves bag. 20-something guy gives it to her) Have we had sex before!? We should have sex! I like you! (doors start closing) We should really have sex!
–C Train
