Hot Asian chick to boyfriend, about former boyfriend: He actually told me he liked fucking me because of my “almond eyes.”
Boyfriend: Where do you find these guys?
Hot Asian chick: I know, right?
Boyfriend: I like fucking you because you come at least once a minute.
Hot Asian chick: Take me home now!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: …can i borrow her
Girl: But my gynecologist loves my vagina! She says it’s very tan!
Guy: Yeah… tan and leathery.
–New Amsterdam Theatre
Young man in small crowd: Honestly, the vaginas I’ve seen in real life are nowhere near as bad as the vaginas I’ve seen in med school.
–86th & Columbus
Overheard by: Stacey
Girl: I feel like the male anatomy is so much more straightforward. The vag is hard to master.
–Fordham University
20-something girl: If he’s gonna be such a whiny vagina about you being safe about your vagina, then you shouldn’t be sleeping with him anyways.
–NYU Dorm
Teenage boy, eating a sandwich: He said no mayonnaise. It tastes like a big vagina.
–63rd Drive & Queens Boulevard
Hobo: And then the woman just sucked it all into her vagina.
–44th & 7th
Overheard by: The One
Frantic Asian guy, running across the street in front of Worldwide Plaza: Yeah… Yeah… But whose vagina?"
–9th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Broadway man: I thought she acted well.
Broadway woman: She had great thighs, too.
–E 49th & 7th
Overheard by: I thought so too
Girl to friend, after other girl leaves room: She’s cool. I like Jovanna.
Professor: You like Jovanna?!…I don’t. Professor breaks into laughter.
–Bard High School Early College
Loud black girl #1: If you got the same father but different mothers you half siblings. If you got the same mother but different fathers you whole siblings!
Loud black girl #2: No it ain’t! You’re wrong.
Loud black girl #1, to older black man standing in front of them: Excuse me, sir. You look older and wiser than us. Which one of us is right?
Older black man: If you got the same mamma y’all sistas.
Loud black girl #2: That’s not right.
Loud black girl #1: You just wait till we get out this train and have service and we will both text message Google and see who’s right. Same mamma makes you whole siblings!
Loud black girl #2: Fine, but you wrong.
Loud black girl #1: Yes you are, cause you all come out the same pussy! It’s the pussy that matters!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Alie
Woman: This is a nice building.
Man: Andy Warhol was shot on the sixth floor.
Woman: Nice!
–33 Union Square West
Bimbette #1, looking at the library: Oh wow! It’s so pretty!
Bimbette #2: God, I wish we were smart enough to go here!
–Outside NYU Library
Overheard by: Kathryn
Male professor #1: Your daughter is starting to look like you.
Male professor #2: That’s comforting.
–NYU
Overheard by: ann
High-school teen to friend: So, like, every guy that likes me must totally be a pedophile.
–Flatbush & Dekalb, Brooklyn
13-year-old: I mean, he’s not a pedophile, he’s just very open with his sexuality, and I like that.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kelly
Lesbian on cell: I just saw these girls and they were pretty. Really pretty. And fifteen. But then I heard them talking and I realized they were French! So it’s fine. Fifteen is legal there.
–36th St & Fifth Ave
Middle-aged teacher: I have this girl in my class that’s a six-year-old with a 46-year-old woman’s body.
–Prem-On Thai
Overheard by: office peon
Guy who just got more beer: This is the happiest place on earth… Except for that kindergarten I’m not allowed to go back to anymore.
–McSorley’s, 7th & 3rd
Overheard by: I’ll drink to that!
Seven-year-old boy running after another child: I’m a pedophile! I’m a pedophile! I’m a pedophile!
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: that’swhathesaid
