Teen #1: Nigga, this ain't no messin' around thing! They in love!
Teen #2: They go out?
–Tribeca
Overheard by: stephie
Teen #1: Nigga, this ain't no messin' around thing! They in love!
Teen #2: They go out?
–Tribeca
Overheard by: stephie
Guido in Mercedes, honking horn: Yo!
(jogging hottie ignores him)
Guido: Can I talk to you?
(jogging hottie ignores him)
Guido: What's wrong with me, no date?
(jogging hottie ignores him)
Guido: Is it my hair, my clothes?
Jogging hottie, taking off headphones: I don't date Mercedes C230s.
–West Side Highway Jogging Path
Overheard by: La Diabla
Hot Asian boyfriend: Yeah… Once, I was really wasted and I had to piss so badly. I just pissed in the cab that I was in.
Pretty Asian girlfriend: You mean you pissed in your pants in a cab?
Hot Asian boyfriend: No, stupid! Right before I got out, I whipped it out and just pissed as quietly as I could.
(Pretty Asian girlfriend stops walking and just stares at him)
Hot Asian boyfriend: What?
Pretty Asian girlfriend, looking away: Poor cab driver! Oh, that poor soul… Who am I dating? (shakes head)
Hot Asian boyfriend: What? A man's got a right to mark his territory sometimes. Dogs do it too!
Pretty Asian girlfriend: Did you own that taxi cab?
Hot Asian boyfriend: No.
Pretty Asian girlfriend: Then why the hell did you pee on something that wasn't yours?
–Astor Place
Overheard by: poor cab driver
Drunk girl on date: You're not going to be allowed in my apartment tonight.
Lame guy on date: Oh really? Why is that?
Drunk girl on date: Because when I drink, I lose my ambition.
–Lower East Side
Ghetto chick #1: Oh no! We didn't fuck on the first date!
Ghetto chick #2: What do you mean you didn't? Stop, stop, stop! You got me all twisted!
Ghetto chick #1: I mean… if you really think about it, it wasn't a date…
–E Train
Girl to a friend: I was piss drunk when I saw The Passion Of The Christ.
–Chelsea
Skateboarding juvenile delinquent to crew: We are totally like the movie Kids, all that's left is for me to get Aids.
–Mott & Prince
Overheard by: Dirty needle or gay sex, your choice
Suit to another: The soundtrack to Big Top Pee-wee was amazing.
–St. Mark's Place
Seven-year-old Asian boy to mother, during the movie Up: He loved and he lost…
–Regal Union Square Theater
Crazy 30-something man: Excuse me! You probably think I'm looking for money. I'm not. But I'm looking for a companion! A girl, aged 18 to 25, and she must have a DVD player, so we can watch movies!
–1 Train
Overheard by: nella
McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?
–McDonald's
Overheard by: Blayne
Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?
–117th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jesse D
Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.
–W 49th & 5th
Overheard by: canucks
Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!
–Broadway & 4th St
Overheard by: Jalex Leoley
Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!
–Staten Island Ferry
Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: alana h.
Hipster guy: So, are you doing anything tomorrow night?
Girl: I don't think so.
Hipster guy: Cool. I'll get you the address for the place my band is playing at. We can hang afterwards.
Girl: Awesome!
Girl's mom, to hipster: Don't bother. She's 17. And you're a pedophile.
Hipster guy: Oh. Right. Sorry. (leaves)
Girl: Goddamn it, mom! You're such a fucking cockblock!
–Jules Jazz Bar
Overheard by: Millie
Oblivious teenage girl: Are strip cubs illegal?
Less oblivious friend: Um, no. Why would you think that?
Oblivious teenage girl: Cuz while I was going out with Matt he said something about a strip club getting busted.
Less oblivious friend: You went out with Matt? You slut!
Oblivious teenage girl: No, if I was a slut I would have known whether strip clubs are illegal or not.
–Central Park
Loud woman on cell: And then he had the nerve to ask me if it was cause he's black! I was like, "it's not cause you're black, it's cause you slept with that stripper!"
–Starbucks
Midwestern grandmother, seeing granddaughter play on subway: She's working on her pole dancing, just like her mother.
–E Train
Young Asian guy, telling stripper what he does for a living: Do you even know what a hedge fund is?
–Strip Club, Queens
Thug to girlfriend, pointing at totem pole in museum: You know what those be? Fancy stripper poles! (makes techno music noise with his mouth)
–Museum of Natural History
Blonde chick on cell: Oh my god, Mike, just fuck her and get over yourself, I really don't care! (hangs up, to friend) I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps calling me asking me if it would break my heart if he slept with the stripper we met at the bar on Saturday.
–NYU
Overheard by: i wish i had me a girl like that
Serious, tired, cute guy on cell: So you remember the stripper that has been hassling me? Well, I went out with her and her girlfriend on Tuesday, and stuff got out of hand… really out of hand–like Budapest out of hand! (pause) I don't know, but I woke up in fucking New York City!
–Penn Station
