Tourist son: Wow, is this high school?
Tourist dad: Yup, you gotta be like Asian to go here.
–Stuyvesant High School
Tourist son: Wow, is this high school?
Tourist dad: Yup, you gotta be like Asian to go here.
–Stuyvesant High School
Yuppie mom: We’re never riding the subway again.
Little girl: Why?
Yuppie mom: Everyone keeps hitting you on the head.
Little girl: So? I love the subway.
Yuppie mom: Well, the subway doesn’t love you.
–Times Square
Chick on cell: I hope you fucking die! Die! … Well, not like now… but someday… like, when you’re eighty.. Okay, eighty-four.
–NYU
Overheard by: Kelly
Student: … And I was all, ‘Dude, don’t touch my side of the cadaver!’
–Albert Einstein College of Medicine
Overheard by: BuddyblueJD
15-year-old: Look! They’re dying because they suck!
—The Bucket List showing, AMC Empire 25
20-ish chick: After I died, I hardly did anything.
–45th & 3rd
Overheard by: mkr
Blonde to gal pals, on Heath Ledger: It just made me realize how real death is when even a celebrity can die!
–25th & 1st
Thug, talking about fanny pack: What is that? Your change purse?
Thugette: Nigga, that's my insulin!
–1 Train
Student: So how can we use this information to our advantage?
Professor: Well, if you were ever going to kill someone you would want to bury them in wet ground.
Student: Like a swamp?
Professor, with evil grin: A swamp would be ideal.
–Electromagnetics Lecture, Columbia University
Loud girl #1: I don’t wanna go, what if I cheat on my boyfriend?
Loud girl #2: Whatever, he won’t care. He’s fat, he’ll get over it.
–Outside Pace University
Overheard by: Aaron
Girl: Hang on… (bends over to tie shoe in middle of crowd)
Appalled mother: Don't do that! This is New York. You could get pregnant!
–Mulberry & Hester, Little Italy
Overheard by: Mark
Little boy #1: I bet you you can’t do it!
Little boy #2: Oh yes I can! Don’t underestimate me!
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul!
–Broadway
Guido father to daughter and her gay friend: He was a real cocksucker… (realizes gay friend might be offended) But you know…not in the, uh, bad way.
Gay friend: Oh, believe me, I've met plenty of bad cocksuckers.
–LIRR
Overheard by: bill
Female customer: Does my ShopRite card work here?
Bored cashier: No, this is a Gristedes.
Customer: Well, I was just curious about their relationship.
Bored cashier: Like any good relationship, it's all about boundaries.
–Gristedes
Overheard by: bemused
