Girl #1: I used to drink Sprite all the time. Can't drink soda anymore.
Girl #2: So what do you drink now?
Girl #1: Sprite Zero.
–3rd & Lexington
Girl #1: I used to drink Sprite all the time. Can't drink soda anymore.
Girl #2: So what do you drink now?
Girl #1: Sprite Zero.
–3rd & Lexington
Guy: Okay, we can invite him too, but you have to remind him that pants are a requirement, not a mild suggestion.
–Uptown 2 Train
Middle aged man at the end of police show (exhausted from dancing around the suite all night): Wow, I can't believe I kept my pants on!
–MSG Skybox
Overheard by: Russ Beef
Man to friend: And like, man I wasn't gonna drink anything, but I smoked like one hundred blunts and was so high and I was like taking my pants off and shit.
–1 Train
Overheard by: batou187
Ghetto guy to ghetto friends: I remember the day I got my Reeboks like I remember the day that I peed my pants…when I was too old to pee my pants.
–A train
Overheard by: Hannah
Guy on phone: I think that may be slightly humiliating though, if the pants actually come off. And someone feels the chicken cutlets inserted in your underpants for some added power.
–19th & 8th
Overheard by: Joey
Little girl #1: Yeah, cookies and onions.
Little girl #2: Cookies!
Little girl #1: Onions.
Little girl #2: Cookies!
Little girl #1: Onions!
Little girl #2: Cookies!
Little girl #1 (pauses, thinks about it): Beer!
–54th & 7th
Overheard by: Chloefron
Girl #1: You are so drunk, aren't you? How many beers did you have?
Girl #2: Yeah, I had six beers!
Girl #1: No you didn't! You can't afford six beers!
–Shea Stadium
Girl: I'm all jacked up on Mello Yello!
Guy: Oh yeah? Well, I'm the rug-master!
–E Train
Drunk man to couple in booth: Hey, hey, are you two siblings or are you dating?
Woman: We're siblings.
Drunk man: Are you sure? Because sometimes when I'm with my sister I tell people we're dating.
Man: Yeah, we're sure.
Drunk man: Okay, well, I'm going to Central City. How long do you think it would take to get there?
Man: Pennsylvania?
Drunk man: Yeah.
Man: By train or walking?
Drunk man: I'm gonna walk, motherfucker!
Man: At least a couple of hours. I think you're going to need a few more drinks.
Drunk man: Yeah man! (to woman) You look like you could be in Pirates.
Woman: Yeah, I get that a lot.
–Tick Tock Diner, 34th St
Starbucks barista (giving out some samples): Hey, would you like to sample our frappuccino?
Man with a bottle in a brown paper bag: Pssh. Nah. That shit don't go good with Hennessy.
Starbucks barista: Oh, okay. Have a good day.
Man with a bottle in a brown paper bag: Wait, sorry. That was fucked up. Do you wanna sample my Hennessy?
–Delancy & Allen, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Genia
Cute queer to hot Asian friend: I would rather have you drive drunk and stay at a friend's place in Manhattan then take a cab back to Jersey.
–Manhattan
Professor: For Muslims, the afterlife is more real to them than it is to me or you. For them, dying is like…going to New Jersey. Beautiful New Jersey.
–Stern Building, NYU
Overheard by: Emily
Trashy girl (knocking on door of a convenience store that just closed): Yo, let me in! I just want to buy a Heineken before I go back to New Jersey!
–W 108th & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: MR
Construction worker to people exiting PATH station: You're from Jersey! You should be happy!
–Vesey St & Church St
20-something on cell: I'm at Penn station and there are so many guidos and guidettes on their way back to Jersey. Watching them is like watching babies stuck in a McDonald's ball pit.
–Penn Station
NJ Transit worker: You'd be surprised how many honest people there are in New Jersey.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Jersey Girl
Conductor: This is a Jersey bound Q train. Oh shiiiiit.
–Brooklyn Bound Q Train
Overheard by: office peon
Chick: Her Facebook picture is her double-fisting two beer bottles.
Queer: Oh, please. You know they were originally two cocks and she Photoshopped them out.
–House party, 172 & Broadway
Overheard by: Well-dressed Indian boy
Cuisine expert #1: That sake shit is clear.
Cuisine expert #2: Word.
–151 & Amsterdam
