The Black Flag is at Half-mast

Guy #1: You do such dumb shit.
Guy #2: I do not.
Guy #1: Well, what about that E-trades tattoo on your leg?
Guy #2: I’m hardcore!

–1 train

Chick: Sell-out by day…
Suit: Shut up, okay? Whatever pays the bills.

–CBGBs, The Bowery

Overheard by: Sarah Royal

Drunk guy on cell: Dude, that’s crap, you gotta live hardcore!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth

Teen girl: Man this sucks. Where are all the punks?

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mary

Chick: Darryl doesn’t even know what hardcore is, first off. He was all, “What, is that like some kind of porn?”.

–2nd & A

Overheard by: Kira

Punk girl: Fight bureaucracy!
Suit: You’re not the boss of me.

–Leonard between Broadway & Church

Overheard by: Lakini Malich

Posted on October 13, 2014
Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, CBGB, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Favorites, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, On Cell, On the Subway, People, Places, Porn, Punks, Sex, Soho, Suits, Tattoos, Teens, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, West Village, Williamsburg, Words

Do They Pay You to Do That?

Southern tourist woman to waitress: You don't take credit cards? Where are we?
Drunk New Yorker at other table: You're at JG Melon!
(table cheers)

–74th & 3rd

Posted on October 7, 2014
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Bartenders, Directions, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Laughter, Money & Class, Questions, Southerners, Stupidity, Tourism, Upper East Side

Drunk Girls + Car + Velocity = Humor

Guy: I think you might want to get a little closer to the curb.
Drunk girl #1: No, you know, I’m okay like this.
Drunk girl #2: Stop, don’t be a bitch, he’s being nice.
Drunk girl #1: Sorry!
Drunk girl #2: Thanks anyway, but we won’t get hit by a car, because it’s simple mathematics. It’s impossible!

–23rd & Park

Posted on October 6, 2014
Advice, Cars and Driving, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity

Hence Juicy Jeans

Tall drunk guy: You know about Jewish pussies, man–?
Short drunk guy, interrupting: –Like a tidal wave!

–1st & 1st

Posted on October 1, 2014
Drunks, Lower East Side, Rumor Has It, Vagina

Wednesday One-Liner Often Wonder How It Started To Be Spelled That Way

Girl: …well it stopped working 'cause it got cum in it.

–W 27th St

Chick: I'm starving. The only protein I've had all day is an accidental cum shot to the face earlier this morning.

–SoHo

Guy to friends: If y'all was to really write it down and make a… a food chain of all of who used to date who, and who's dating who now, I bet you y'all got all the same juices running up in y'all system.

–2 Train

Overheard by: Kosi

Passing guy on cell: All I'm saying is everyone should have control over where their sperm goes.

–7th Ave

Hoochie on cell : Because I manage to get very juicy.

–L Train

Drunk girl at restaurant holding a champagne bottle: Excuse me, sir, can you open this for me? I'm afraid it's going to cum everywhere.

–Kaleidoscope, E 10th St

College dude: I bet there's semen somewhere on this grass.

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on September 30, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cum, Dating, Drinks, Drunks, Etiquette, Food, Frat Boys, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hootchies, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Restaurants & Cafes, Soho, Union Square and East Village, Words

Just Making Conversation

Cashier: That’s $1.50.
Drunk: You’re killing me, man! Hey, do you know if the liquor store’s still open?
Suit: You don’t?

–10th St & 4th Ave

Posted on September 29, 2014
Bodegas, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Money & Class, Suits, Talking/Convos, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers

Wednesday One-Liners Won’t Remember This Tomorrow

Little girl on dad’s shoulders: Hmmm. Beer. I’m not really a fan of that anymore.

–Outside MSG

Overheard by: eric p

Guy on cell: Dude, I’m sayin’, it’s like every single time we have sex she is drunk! Sooo drunk… [Sighs.]

–Canal St

20-something chick on cell: Well, they do say alcohol solves problems…

–Houston & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Chris

NJ transit conductor: We are now approaching New York Penn Station. If you are traveling with any small children, the elderly, or drunk people, please escort them off of the train — maybe by the hand — because there is a wide gap between the train and the platform.

–Penn Station

Mom to wobbling little girl: Are you a drunken sailor? Drunken sailor, yay!

–Liberty St & South End Ave

Overheard by: julia

British girl to two friends: … And I knew he was drunk that night because he fell over.

–R train from Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mark

Posted on September 29, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Conductors, Dads, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Kids, Sex, Wednesday One-Liners

This Medal Smells Funny

Guy: What flavor should I get?
Drunk girl: I’d get butter pecan but I’m lactose intolerant and it’d make me shit like a champ.

–Bodega, Houston & 6th

Posted on September 27, 2014
Advice, Bodegas, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Food, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, People, Places, Poop, Soho, Topics, Venues

Uh-Oh, All My Secrets Are Falling Out

Drunk teenage girl, yelling: Just so all of you guys know, I am underage! (long pause, then to friend) Shit, I just told them we are underage! (long pause, then to woman) Hey, you! I love your hair!

–Q Train

Posted on September 27, 2014
Body Parts, Compliments, Drunks, Girls, Offers and requests, Promiscuity, Teens, Trains Not Subway

I’ll Have You Know I’m Drunk with Power

Drunk chick: Why am I so drunk?!
Cabbie: Because you drink a lot!

–10th Ave

Overheard by: i don’t drink a lot

Posted on September 27, 2014
Cabbies, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Manhattan, Questions

Drunks